high health anxiety..5 doctors still fear misdiagnosed

[johanchow]

Because my right side still in healing due to extraction of wisdom teeth... I can only use my left side for eating.... and then I have sore white spot before in my left back molar gum(retromolar pad).. few days later that sore was gone, but the white fade and heal.. but I still can look there is 1mm size white spot... and I google... yes horrible image symptom of mouth cancer leukoplakia

so I go for first dentist.. they told me is common.. nothing to worried.. after that I'm visit another doctor.. this doctor was the starting point of my HA.. he just look for 3 seconds and order me to biopsy.. he said leukoplakia.. OMG... that's make me can't breath.. and I ask him are you sure?? he told me.. just go for biopsy.. and I will tell you what is that.. don't make us try to guess what it is.. that's rude.. he just ignore me.. of course I don't go for biopsy

so I went for 5 different doctor searching another opinion
1. another dentist told me it just friction from food that blanching and look little white.. its quiet common.. its not leukoplakia..no need biopsy
2. another ENT head and neck cancer.. no need biopsy.. he told me to calm down.. and also he said many doctor want your money..so they just sent you to go biopsy.. he said he look many precancerous lesion in his life.. and mine is not...and also common in that area look little white.. because you bite the food with back teeth.. and he sure 99.9%..even I go for biopsy that also will look a little white
3.another dentist told me.. no..its not leukloplakia.. maybe friction by your upper wisdom teeth and food..
4.another ENT head and neck cancer... he check all my mouth...he told me no leukoplakia found.. and that's a little tiny spot.. its everywhere in our mouth.. he asked me you google right? and you must already know what leukoplakia look.. and we don't found anything suspicious look like leukoplakia..and stop worry
5. another ENT head and neck cancer.. also check all my mouth..he also told me no lesion found in my mouth.. no leukoplakia

now I have 5 doctor all 3 of them the best head and neck cancer doctor in TAIWAN told me its not leukoplakia...against 1 doctor refer and sent me to biopsy for leukoplakia..
but I still have weight heart.. fear if they misdiagnosed me.. what if they missed that 1 mm spot because its to small...fear maybe this.. may be that.. what if.. that's all in my brain.. and it relieve after i visit another doctor.. and then next morning that HA attack me again, make me start to doubt doctors... iam already broke because the money i spent for doctor... but I cant stop..and how could I stop to visit another doctor to get another reassurance.. Iam going to cry.. I don't understand why i'm worried so much... and i'm supposed to happy right? because iam going to marry the woman I love this years in June... i'm afraid dying cancer and leave her alone and she become widow.. I don't want this happen to her.. what is wrong with me... why my heart full of this worry.. worry already eat my life..my work.. and my relationship.. I need help..

---------- Post added at 16:34 ---------- Previous post was at 13:52 ----------

anyone had this experience before?? thanks for the advice

[Gary A]

There's nothing anyone here can tell you that 5 doctors won't have already. If you're struggling to be reassured by the opinions of 5 ENT specialists, I honestly don't know what reassurance you expect from a bunch of strangers on an Internet forum.

It sounds like you have nothing at all to worry about, but really, that's all I can say.

[OGNinjaDon]

I am no expert in this, but hopefully some words may help you.

From a non-bias point of view and somebody with no inside look on the situation. This seems like just anxiety and nothing more.

Look at it this way, if YOU can see something in your mouth, THEY can definitely see it. Some doctors are out to make money, other doctors are out to help people, and others are there to simply MAKE SURE.

You have seen 5 doctors now, all professionals, all looking for the EXACT thing that you are worried about. Nothing has been found. Nothing has been found because there is nothing there.

Your anxiety will be playing a key role in this, meaning you will check/double check the area all the time. You will play with it with your tongue, you will play with it with you fingers, all of this will make it worse.

It could just be a spot? Similar to ones you get on your face.

My advice is to try and believe the professionals who have looked at you. I know this is hard to do, but try and look at this from an outside perspective.

Also, do not google.

Google is your worst enemy, the reason being is you look at EVERYTHING that could be an option, even if it not related in any way. Google images are also the worst thing.

Forums like this are good as your in the exact place you need to be (on the internet) to get more correct understandings of what it is.

I am no doctor or specialist, and if you believe you have something, get it checked out. Though you have done this, SEVERAL times, and are still anxious. So please take a step back, look at the situation, and realize that this is nothing at all to be worried about.

Hope this helps.

[johanchow]

Thank you Gary.A...Thank you OGninjaDon... I'm very appreciate for the advice and big thanks for both of you

[Fishmanpa]

I had head and neck cancer. I would have given my left testicle (or right ~lol~) to have had one doctor tell me what you're heard 5 doctors tell you.

I have real medical issues that can bury me six feet under. You have an illness that can do that above ground. You say you don't want to make your wife a widow. Suffering as you are, you're already doing that. Get treatment for your anxiety and take back your life

Positive thoughts