I dont know where to start but I know I need to say what I want.There is no one around for me to talk to.I did something today something bad.I havent done this type of thing for so long.I really thought the meds would save me from feeling this bad again.I whiped myself this morning because I feel so bad.I wanted some escape from the way I feel now.To feel something that might be worse than what I feel right now.
It still dosent work though.I still feel so horrible inside wish I could just fall through the ground to not of ever exisited.My husband tricks me.Says he wants to be there when I feel bad which hasnt been that much.When I do need someone he gets cross because its so much of an effort to listen.I end up getting screamed at and left feeling I have so worthless.And I always feel I have to say sorry for the way I am feeling right now.I told him I will keep it to myself coz I dont want to get shouted at.My panic does his head in I am left feeling guilty for being scared.The last time I got mentaly forced to the school to pick up my kids.I did it because I didnt want him or the people he laughed at me with to see I was a loser.
I dont have any family theres no one.I feel so alone and scared.
Reply With Quote
