whats happening 2 me?

[amy19]

[xx(] just feel like i cant take anymore, ive tried being strong and tried accepting things but i cant do it anymore. i really want to go bk 2 my carefree self. im feeling strange things most of the time. my sleep is restless (im panicky that much - i even dream about doing my breathing exercises in my sleep). im itching all over this is not normal. im losing weight even tho im eating 3 meals a day. my eyes are always watery wen i wake up, my eyes are sore and feel pressure more than anywhere else in my body. im just scared. no one listens 2 me. the doctor didnt even giv me a chance 2 explain, ive had no tests 4 my symptoms. (there is loads). my boyfriend doesnt understand. hes become more distant lately. he keeps telling me that theres nothing wrong wiv me and that if i feel bad i should take a walk down 2 the local childrens hospital and see what ill health really is. im crying as i write this, feel so low. im convinced ive got some sort of disease thats going 2 kill me. im fed up of worrying about my health. i should be out having fun. ive spent years listening 2 my familys problems, my sisters ocd, my dads ill health and depression and my mums depression and that now im not myself all they say 2 me is theres nothing wrong wiv u and imagine if u had wot ive got and now u know wot im going thru. cant take no more,
sad, lonley, confused, not myself, wheres Amy gone?

amyx

[lass]

Oh Amy, have a huge hug from me. You are obviously seen as the "strong" one of the family and with them offloading all their troubles on to you, it will take it's toll. Unfortunately, it seems that they are all very wrapped up in themselves and when you need a bit of role reversal, a bit of support for you, they can't provide this.

Your boyfriend doesn't sound like he understands much either :(

People don't mean to be like this, but I think it is just a lack of understanding. They think by telling you to pull yourself out of it, that you will. If only we could!

Look at your symptoms one at a time. I'm sure each one can be explained as anxiety caused. If you only had one of these symptoms at a time and you weren't worrying that they were something serious, could you live with them? Is there anything that you can pinpoint as actually causing you worry because of what it is, or are you worried because you don't feel normal and you have no diagnosis?

I think you should make a list of all your symptoms, write down exactly how you feel, then go back to your GP and make them listen. I also think you should ask for help, not just for coping with nasty symptoms, but with dealing with your family problems and so on. Maybe some counselling or other therapy? You need someone to help you put it all into perspective, someone who isn't involved with you at all, then you will be able to pour out all your troubles.

I hope this helps. I'm thinking of you ....

Caroline

[claireypoo]

Hi Amy

I felt so much like you did when i first got anx - it bought a lump to my throat reading your post.

I have had health anx for 2 years (and it is horrible) but mine is so much better now than it was.

I think what helped me most at first was this website and reading the Claire Weekes books - they are handy because they explain most of the symptoms in detail - I was like I get that! I feel like that! almost all the way through! (I also got my husband to read it and it helped him be more understanding!)

I found reading the books gave me the courage and self confidence to approach my doctor and say I accept it may be anxiety but i can't disregard the symptoms until i have had a thorough check up. (that seemed to work for me!) I still feel anxious about new symptoms I get and anx can certainly make you feel quite ill physically.

Another site that has helped me is a CBT course called www.livinglifetothefull.com (funded by NHS scotland)

I hope you feel better soon
Claireypoo
X

[ceecee]

hi amy
sorry that you are going through a really tough time at the mo,its really hard trying to explain how rotten you feel to those close to you, as they look and see no change as such(i,m with you on the weight loss hun i lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago through stress!)to them you just look the same as you always have.
do you have any other family members you could talk to?it seems that you have had alot to put up with emotionally!
take care amy and please know that you have these lovely people on this forum to help and give you comfort
love rach x

[jo61]

Hi, sorry to hear it's so hard for you at the moment. You'll find great support here. The old Amy is still there and will come out of this stronger than ever.

Love Jo x

[tommythomson]

Hi Amy

Sorry your a bit down at the moment.
The Amy you are looking for is just lost at the minute and she'll need your help to find her.
Honestly read up on the symptoms and reassure yourself that they will not harm.
Don't worry about the weight loss - keep eating your meals and snacks to keep your nrg levels up.
Go and see a different doctor - ask them to prove there is nothing wrong with you. It's their job! This will give you more confidence when you get tested.
It is hard for someone without symptoms to relate to what's going on in your head. Let you bf read some literature on the symptoms etc. My wife did and she understands much better what i'm going thru.
If you feel like crying then cry - it will give you a release.
This is a very frightening illness sometimes! There will be times when you're down but there will be times when your up as well.
Accepting your symptoms is the hardest part - i fought tooth and nail with my CPN telling her that i had accepted my symptoms but it took a bit longer than i thought.
You will be fine! The people on this site will listen! Everybody on here wants you to do well and be well!
Sorry for the epic! I just wanted to let you know there is hope keep trying.
Keep your chin up!

Take care and hugs

T

[seeker]

Hello,
just want to say that I have felt like you, too and I have also lost loads of weight while still eating lots. Despite thinking otherwise, after three months of fretting, I have had to accept that, yes, stress and anxiety can burn that many calories and can make you suffer very real physical symptoms.

I wrote a list down for my gp and she went through them one by one with me. Try doing this maybe? If they are still unsympathetic, try a different gp at the same practice.

If you are quite young, and your boyfriend is, then it is likely that he just doesn't understand - I think people need time and maturity to beable to understand anxiety, and to be able to help people who are sufferning. I don't mean this in a patronising way.

Have a look through all the symptoms on this website and forum, and hopefully they will be able to reassure you. one thing I noticed, when I wrote a list of my symptoms, was that it practically read like a symptom guide for depression!

[bambamers]

all i can do is say hugs from me.x

[peach]

hi amy,

i wish i could eat as i do and loose weight...why dont i get the good symptoms???
drats..lol..my symptoms are all horrible!!! dizzyness, i had eptoptics last year, but finally thye gone, and the stupid throat thing has hounded me for months...
like you, my doc refused to give me any formal tests...i went to her 8 times last year..she is a really good doc- she saved my mums partners life!!! so i am trying to trust her knowledged opinion over mine....
dont worry hon!! you are fine... people who havent had this dont know what we are going through...
also, i just found out that anxiety is genetic..so if your family has also had this, then that will also let you k now that you r prone to it too..
my mum suffered much worse then i am when she was my age....
i feel the same as you- where is my life, and will i ever get it back?
gotta try to stay positive when you can, know your not alone....
and know that what we have is curable...this is what im hoping...some days its hard, cause i feel so ill...
just hang in there....
and like i keep thinking-----we would honestly know if something really bad was wrong, cause our symptoms would be much more and the doc would get us tests asap- same day!!! if they had any feeling whatsoever that something might be wrong...
so take care...

[suebroughton]

Hi Amy, and how are you feeling today? I have just read your first post, and I can relate 100% with you, in fact, we all can. I was feeling as desperate as you a couple of weeks ago. My panic and stress, anxiety and depression comes and goes, this time I had the lot. And I just wanted to give up. I started different meds, and boy the side affects were awful, but I was good to myself, went with the flo, and am now coming out the other end. Are you taking meds? You need to. A lot of people are somehow afraid of anti depressants, (me included) But if you take them regular, you will see the difference I promise you.
As for your family, well thats a hard one isnt it. My hubby for years has poo pooed the idea that I have panic attacks. I dont know why, because he has seen me in desperate times. He always used to say Go take a tablet. Or, Its all in your head. Or even the WORST, pull yourself together.... Oh Yeah, if only....
You need support from wherever you can get it. If your GP is unsympathetic, go to another. Cry, screem, do anything to make your GP listen to you.
As for your family, can you sit them all down in front of you, and make them listen to you, you need help and guidence right now. If you had a broken leg, they would be understanding wouldnt they? Its because they cant see our stmptoms.
You will come out of this. Make sure you start some meds, I was afraid for years to take mine, and my sister said to me one day "Look, if you feel that bad, what is a couple of tablets a day, if it makes your day a lot happier and easier" And how true.
You will also get so much help here Amy, the people are grerat. And not only that, we all been there, going through the same thing.
Take care
Sue