feeling depressed and anxious

[Annie0904]

I haven't posted for a while and I have been doing really well coping with my anxiety. My son recently split up with his girlfriend of 8 years. He is very depressed at the moment and not coping well. He lives 4 hour drive from me.
Worrying about him has triggered my anxiety and I think this time it is more depression. I feel so helpless. My son is starting counselling tonight which I hope will help him. He started with depression last year and I think that was the cause of the break up.
I really need some support right now to help me through this.

[pulisa]

Annie, you have been so generous with your support of others in the past. I'm very sorry that your son is also suffering but he is getting some help and he knows that you will always be there for him. Is there any chance that you could spend some time with him to suss out how he actually is? When you're at a distance you must feel a bit powerless especially when it's someone so very much loved by you?

[gregcool]

Ohh annie.you have been a rock on NMP for so many people for soo long,its such a shame to hear you are suffering you dont deserve it ...its natural for a parent to feel pain for a son in a time like this.watching your children in pain is not easy..at least he has you..you can speek on the phone or maybe you can arange a visit..you are very caring Annie and many people on hear will offer you support....hopefuly his counciling will help him through these dificult times

[Annie0904]

Thank you pulisa and Greg. He is working through the day and staying in a rented room. I will be seeing him again this weekend.
The hardest thing is knowing just how bad anxiety and depression is myself, it makes it even harder to see my son go through it.
I went to work this morning, was supposed to be working 4 hours but after 1.5 hours I broke down and cried and had to come home.
I really wish I was stronger. The last thing I want is for my son to know I am suffering.
If he had gone on the NHS list for counselling he would have had to wait until September! I am paying for him to go private as I want him to be seen straight away before he gets any worse.

[gregcool]

Awww Annie such a shame..you have a lot on your mind,with your son not being well.any parent would feel the same.it cant be easy watching a son go through mental health,esp as you have first hand experiance yourself.but your in a good posision to help him,as you know what its all about and how he might be feeling..hes in good hands with you and paying to go private might be a cost but as you say,he will be seen soon rather than latter...try to remember just how possitive and strong you have been in hear for so many people,including me..try to get back some of that strength and energy to suport your son..if anyone can do it,you can...x

[Annie0904]

Thank you Greg, your comments mean a lot to me.I have managed to get out for a walk this afternoon to deliver some Avon orders. Hubby is away working this week and I don't feel like eating so will just make myself an omelette for tea.

[gregcool]

Thats good that you are getting out Annie,helps to clear the mind and help put things in order,also a distraction.i find walking has helped me .hows the avon going? Do you sell much..make sure you force yourself to keep eating tho annie,you dont want to start feeling week.

[Annie0904]

The Avon is going quite well, I have about 30 customers. It is good for me as it makes me get out.
I have had an omelette and I put cheese and tomato in it. When I am anxious I try to eat little bits more often. My appetite is the first thing to go when I get anxious.

[gregcool]

Well the avon sounds like its going well annie and helping to keep you active.good your eating tho annie..funny how anxiety efects us all different,because i feel all the stress iv had over the last two years that i would have lost weight,but instead iv gained 3 stone..lol..bummer,i was only 11 stone two years ago.keep your chin up annie,you will find a way through this setback,you have gone through bad spells before and come out the other side..

[Annie0904]

I have Greg and that is what keeps me going, I just wish it wouldn't keep coming back. I am really tired as I was awake the whole night with my son on Sunday night, just sitting on his bed while he tried to sleep. I didn't sleep very well last night and I think the lack of sleep has contributed to my anxiety.