I need some help. I sit here and i am really worried whats going to happen to me. I have this cough itch in my throat, I know its lung cancer and although my x ray has come back clean, I do believe that they have missed something. I know nobody will believe me, but i just know. I know my own body. I now have a painful shoulder. Stabbing pains another sign this is what i am dreading. you can think these pains they are there and i cant take it anymore.

I do not want to die in a hospice i love my children and husband i am no good to them like this, and i cant see things getting better, I do believe they will be better off without me. I have not been a good mother or wife for a long time since this all started.

People say this is my anxiety, but you cant put a cough there you cant make up a cough everyday all day, now this shoulder pain stabbing pain that comes and goes.... i cant see a way out i do not know what to do i am lost very lost.