What is Real and What is Not,Im Scared?

[looking4answers]

Everyday I wake and if I don't think im ok.I get around and I start hearing my heart pounding in my ears..something Ill never escape from .No its not anxiety its a condition to where you can hear the arteries in your head.Thats sad enough not know if your heart is beating correctly because you can hear it but to have weird sensations and feelings that could or not be heart attack or stroke.My left side of my face feels weird down into my left neck..Sometimes the head on that side feels tender but goes away.I get sick to my stomach quite often and rather spacey headed ,not that I cant understand but just a weird feeling comes over me.My breathing seems a little restricted but I feel there is not enough air but there really is..


My body when I wake feels heavy but seems to subside.Noises bother me alot,I prefer the silence .I get chills although i get in bed and cover up and get warm but still am cold .I get stuffy but when im out of bed I feel cold.My body just doesn't seem the way it used to although what is strange is that I can function pretty normal.I get nervous for no reason sometimes and my heart skips beats for seemly no reason.This all brings me back wondering I will ever be normal again.My interest wont allow me to enjoy television or movies anymore.I have no real interest but seem to be able to get on the computer for awhile at times and write.I feel so estranged from everyone and everywhere yet i have no desire to go anywhere.



I am so confused about my life and if there will be a future for me.I pray to God everynight to take my symptoms away or take me away from it all.Its so unfair that my life should end this way .What seems to be a million miles from no where and no one that really understands .One day that seems pretty much like the next day and everyday I swear the next day will be different but it isn't..How can you tell if you are really having heart issues or a stroke or a mini stroke or whatever..Or you are just feeling anxiety ..the only real way of knowing is to just go on and if it changes another day it was anxiety .I have a strange hurting under my neck while I have a tight shirt on and then its gone aches and pains in my throat and a seemingly thought that never will be better.I am quickly losing ground..Sometimes i feel like getting out on this vast land and running and running in the extreme cold till i drop dead..Im so sick of feeling like this and being scared its never going to be better.I have lost my zeal for life and cant even laugh a gentle laugh anymore..What can I do.? I don't want to be this way ,the meds arent working and I feel worse than ever.Does anybody else feel this way..Its like life or and illusion is working all around you and you can't seem to step up and get on that you are watching it just pass you by..Please tell me im not alone and everyone wonders if they are going to be ok?.

PRAYER FOR FREEDOM FROM SUFFERING

May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending each other.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.

[elenaau]

Hi,
I have been having similar symptoms as well.
I also too have like a heartbeat just recently in my ear and just the other day as i was watching tv I heard this really loud wavy noise which freaked me out I said to my husband "Can you hear That?", and he said no. It was scarry knowing it was coming through my ears, went straight to the doctors and he said it sounds like tinitus however u spell it. Luckily that only lasted about 30mins but now I feel I am very sensitive to noises, which is so irritating. The doc gave me some medication callerd "serc" for the ears but havent taken it yet, I read to see what they are and it says it improves the blood flow in the inner ear and returns it to normal and also acts on the nerve endings in the inner ear to normalise the way in which the nerve respond to outside influences. Sound good but I am scared to take meds.

I also think i suffer from anxiety, I have been feeling lightheaded and spacey since just after christmas. It's so scary when you feel not real, it's like you are constantly in a bad dream. Have been to doctors and the only thing they found was high white blood cells, which detected a infection somewhere, they said thats prob why i feel this way. This was before my ear thumping started. Did another test and they are nearly back to normal (white blood cells). Who know's and how can you really trust doctors when they are just sick of hearing your same symptoms every time. Might go to a diff clinic to get a second opinion. I Hate feeling crap!!!! Want to be normal again!!! and yes I pray everynight!!!

The question that I keep questioning is? Is it anxiety? Maybe it is but what if it isn't, how many blood tests and stuff do you have to do to know that you are in the clear of anything. Why is it happening to us?
How can you stay positive when you feel ill, people always say you have to relax but how is this possible? Another thing I think is maybe I have an infection in ear or wherever, so maybe I have stressed to much that something is wrong that the panic has combined with the effects of the infection/virus.

Noone understands unless they are going through it themselves, other people just get worried and frustrated.

I am going to a psychologist soon so hopefully that will help in a way to help me feel more positive.

I hope you and everyone suffering feels better soon. At the end of the day. "only the strong survive"

[looking4answers]

Well..I have to say .. thank god that we have this board for most to say hey.. its anxiety and thank god I have three nurse friends that pretty much agree with my doctors all anxiety and stress related..Well that is easy for them to say but I had one nurse friend say tonight..what if you knew for a fact that there was something seriously wrong with you .would it make you feel better what would it change...and what if you are worried about heart attack or stroke and you walk outside and get hit by a bus or a stray cougar attacks you and kills you which it could happen here we are so remote..But I will share something with you that I don't think that I have ever mentioned here..My brother in law was a hypochondriac all his life in the philippines..He heard his heartbeat all the time and experienced things that all of us do here.. everyday..he wouldnt drive and walked everywhere do to being afraid of a car crash and he also would count dots and do math equations to stop thinking about being ill.His whole family made fun of him since he was a little boy.We were going to the phillipines to visit him..On the way there a bus went around another car and hit him in the street throwing him through the windshield and about cut his head off.He died three hours after we got there .We were with him when he died..All these years of worry and being afraid and he got hit by a bus..ironic.. he worried more than i ever have and although its scarry and i face this everyday and i know what happened to him and it seems logical not to worry about tomorrow I still do ..I don't know if i have said anything to help here but maybe it will help someone..

PRAYER FOR FREEDOM FROM SUFFERING

May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending each other.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.