hi, about a week ago i read an article on "existential depression" and i wish i wouldn't have. it said that people with this type of depression have it for life because they see life as meaningless and have the courage to overthink their mortality and stuff. this scared the crap out of me because i was already depressed and i was constantly ruminating on whether i would get better or not. and now that i read that article i have started ruminating about it all day non stop. the intrusive "what's the point in doing that? you're gonna die anyway" "life is meaningless, what you do doesn't matter" and "you see life for what it really is, you're never going to get better" thoughts plague me every day. i can't find peace in anything because these thoughts constantly haunt me. has anyone dealt with this? how do i get rid of these thoughts?:( i remember i used to have these thoughts but i lookedat them in a different way. like if i thought deep about life and stuff it would fascinate me not scare me. but ever since i read that article (there's a few of them) i've been so scared of getting "existential depression" that it feels like i have it now :"(

the other thing that scares me is that every day i have been becoming more numb to the thoughts in a bad way. like my mind is tired of ruminating and worrying and i'm like "no i don't want to not worry about this" i just want my life back:"( i'm tired of these thoughts i wish i wouldn't have ever read that stupid article :"( anyone that has gone through this please help