For about 6 weeks now, I have had a pain in my left side (between my ribs and stomach)-- it has come and gone, but if I get in a certain position, there it is! I went to the doctor and upon initial exam he thought it was muscular, but decided to do an ultrasound anyway (obviously couldn't feel anything ominous during the initial exam). Well . . in the results it was noted my spleen was slightly enlarged and there was a lymph node sort of near my stomach, which he did say was common -- they come and go. But, he suggested since it is causing me pain, we do a CT scan on me. Again, that darn lymph node made itself known and he said it is a little large, but knowing that I am a worrier he reassured me that he wasn't concerned, but it would be best to do further testing . .. sooooooo, Friday I have to get an MRI done and at some point after that get it biopsied.
I am scared-- I just don't know what is causing this freakish thing. I can come up with several awful diseases -- actually, google can! ha! I am just praying whatever it is can be fixed.
I am not fatigued, and I haven't experienced the usual symptoms of lymphoma, which my doc said I would have experienced by now. AND, last year was a very difficult year for me health anxiety wise, so I went to the ER twice, and several doctors appointments and had lots of blood work (my last blood test was in October) and everything came back perfect. I would imagine my white blood cells would have been off if I was getting cancer, but I am not an expert. I just keep trying to reassure myself.
Now, I am obsessively checking my body for more lymph nodes (now the right side of my neck feels larger than the left!) -- which isn't good because if I THINK I found one, I feel that adrenaline rush. I am constantly checking my temperature and weight to make sure I am not getting out of the ordinary fevers or suddenly losing weight. So far still no night sweats.
I have been blessed with good health all my life, so this is new territory for me -- and really, once the doctors actually find something you kind of realize you were really healthy the whole time and it was your thoughts making you feel otherwise. I feel like an idiot for worrying about everything before. Now, I feel I have something to worry about, even though my doctor doesn't, he's just being cautious. I am just wanting this resolved. The unknown is the worst. I can't help but wonder if this is the beginning of the end for me. Or the beginning of the end of my health anxieties and a new, healthier life? Hugs, Wiskers ~