dont wanna do this anymore

[tiredofthis14]

iv literally reached breaking point

just over a week ago i went to hospital with palps they ran tests ecg bloods chest xray ... everything came bk clear except my worst nightmare D DIMER the cut of was 230 mine was 310
they rushed me down for a ct of my chest with contrast .. came back clear they then checked my legs and one side is noticeably bigger then the other but thats not really new
they couldnt scan me so put me on celexane until monday when they could scan me . they scanned my left leg from groin to calf
i have a tendancy to worry about docs missing things because of things u hear on the news.
i went home sort of reasured by the next day i couldnt help thinking why was it elevated iv had the test done loads of times it has never been positive ever.
a couple of days later i had to go back they re did the d dimer it again came back positive this time their cut off was 243 mine was 263
they re scanned my left leg from groin to knee was clear the doc originally wanted both legs checked as i have pain in right one as well but its not swollen so radiology refused
iv now spent the last few days literally going threw every scenario in my head im utterly convinced they are missing something and im going to drop dead any minute and il be one of them stories you hear on the news where the docs missed something im barely functioning crying all day looking at my kids scared theyl grow up without me my family do not think theyve missed anything but they just dont get why im scared everytime i had the test before it was negative ..the docs said anything can cause raised levels but none of the reasons they give i have ..not pregnant...only 25 ... no cancer...no surgery ...no infection (they tested) i just cant relax i tried to see my gp but they have no appointments until next week. i cant go back to a and e because i already know they wont do anything because as far as they are concerned it doesnt matter it raised . i feel like im going crazy

[Wanderlust]

Im certainly no expert, but from what little I have read the dimer has to be pretty darn high for something so nasty and catastrophic, it also seems to be common for women who are on the contraceptive pill to have slightly elevated dimer (or anything that involves any kind of clotting), I have read that people with 1500+ actually not having anything too bad, they have a duty of care however and rules so they were right to check and its brilliant that it came back negative

If they scanned twice you should be fine, but I understand your worry about the other leg, but it is natural for people like you and I to always look for the worst when presented with any baited hook, I do it ALL the time.
You are certainly not going crazy but you are scared and worried, understandably so, try to take as much reassurance as possible that they wouldn't have discharged you unless they thought you were safe particularly after they went to such lengths to check what they did.

Hope you can get it under control

[tiredofthis14]

Thank you for your response I know logically they done the tests but I cant seem to accept it I had a turn like this a year ago and I wasbin hosp everyday I tried to section myself im just convinced im going to die and im petrified

[Wanderlust]

I have been there, hopelessness, fear, all very powerful and overwhelming emotions, I fight them every day, they are my demons, but you and are are still here and fighting! good job for sticking with it, don't give up