Back at work day 2, Can I Face day 3??

[wendy]

Hi All

After 12 months off work due to my anxiety (my main fear is that I will die at work or infact die anywhere, as I have mentioned once or twice [:I])
Anyway in line with my therapist recomendations, I started back at work, new job away from my old line manager, doing 3 hours per day,
Monday was great, sailed through it, Today HR were sharp toned with me and I had my usual fear to run away, just wanted to get out of the damn place and cry but stuck it out, now I dont know how im going to get back in there, I cant fail as they have said I will loose my job based on capability if I go ill again, I am terrified of tomorrow and am sure people are talking about me (well know they are coz heard it), just wish some of them had experienced anxiety then they wouldnt assume I been sat at home watching tv happy all day, how do I get myself back in there?

Wendy xx

[JulieAs45]

Aw Wendy sorry you're goin through such an awful time at the moment, but the fact that you went back to work is something you should be very positive about. I would love to have a job but unfortunately like you my anxiety stops me going, luckily dont need to go for financial reasons but would like to do it for my own self esteem.

I think you've done great so far keep working at it and to hell with what other people are saying you shouldnt let their comments add to your anxiety, they are just not worth it. Unfortunately there are a lot of people out in the real world who would crumble if they had to go through what we do everyday just to get ourselves out of bed in the morning.

Best of luck, 2moro is another day!! Keep positive.

Julie xx

[nomorepanic]

Wendy

Well done on going back to work - that is always a very hard step to take.

Rise above all the comments and remarks ok and go in there with your head held high. You have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about ok and you know the truth behind your health problems.

Don't let them drive you out.

Good luck - will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

[wendy]

Thanks Nicola & Julie

Well I made it here and am posting from work, thanks for motivating me! This isnt easy but Im not going to give up, Anxiety has controlled me for too long and I have to get a life back, I feel im here in body if not in mind but guess main thing is Im here!

Thanks again

Love Wendy xx

[suebroughton]

Hi Wendy How are you feeling? First of all, I wat to congratulate you for going back to work. If you get over the first week, you will feel so good with yourself. It has been a massive hurdle for you, also think of the other achievement, its not just the work, its the whole thing you have to deal with, getting up on time, maybe going through the morning traffic, etc. How are you getting to work? Are you driving, or catching public transport? Because all of these can be really difficult to face, especially while you have had so much time where you probably have not had a strickt routine to follow. So well done you.
I wonder, has your GP sent a briefing of your condition to your employers? I have just returned to work after only 5 weeks, and when I went for a progress chat with my Dr, I said I was finding it hard, because, like you Wendy, my panic comes when I walk behind our bars. (I am a landlady, living and working in the same building). Now dont get me wrong, my bosses have been great, but sometimes they dont understand do they, which is what you have found. So my GP said that he would gladly write a letter to my bosses, explaining my condition, and how it affects me. Maybe you could do the same.
Hey- you have done so well to get where you are today, think hour by hour, and pat yourself on the back every hour, think posative, and your confidence will come on in leaps and bounds, I know it will. As for the people who were trying to "test" you, they are the week morons. Obviously they have not experienced anxiety. God forgive them xxx

[wendy]

Thanks for the message Sue, and well done for doing do well!

Am seeing my therapist tom pm for an update, Had a panic attack about an hour ago, but I saw it as a panic not me dying so have handled it, got to say in a way work despite been so diffcult is making me do things, like you say getting to work etc on time, before if I panicked I would give in and stay in the house, now I have to be in the office by 9am so have to get on with it, its early days but I going to give it my best,

Thanks for the support

Wendy xx

[suebroughton]

Hi Wendy, how did today go for you? I really hope every day gets better for you, and hey, dont forget.... when you have your first pay day, go to town and buy yourself something really nice. Or get your hair done, nails, anything. Treat yourself. You deserve it. (Things like this dont matter when we are ill do they, but when we on the up, we can GO for it girl) Show em all. xx

[sal]

Wendy

You went back that in itself takes so mucu courage. A new job is less daunting thant going back to the old routtine.

Day one you got through and that if ever will have been you hardest day. Whatever day 2, 3, 4 or 5 brings you got through the hardest and you should look at your achievement. You adjusted back into the role, society or simply the job you did.

You achieved at whatever cost to yourself and that in its self should bread confience and show t hat you can do it and in realistic terms you have.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[bearcrazy]

Hi Wendy,

I like you have returned to work after long term absence. I was off for 4 months in 2005 and 7 months last year. I know how hard it is to go back. I think you have done really well.
The worst thing for me is the exhaustion. I have a very demanding job and i find that I am eassily tired. This week and last week I had to take 2 days off through anx and exhaustion. I wish I'd gone in cos I think being at home and wondering what everyone thinks is worse, but I couldnt have done my job! I have plans to tackle this problem, and with any luck next term I will be back fighting fit.
Well done Wendy. Anxiety is disabling but with the right support you can fight it. We all have the right to work!

[wendy]

Hi,
Thanks for all taking the time to reply and for the support,

Thats my first week done, and to be honest appart from a little de-motivation mid week wasn't as bad as I had expected,

The hardest part I am finding it the concentration, I work in an office and am finding that after 15mins my mind is wandering, hopefully this will improve with time

Will keep you posted of how it going!

Thanks again

Wendy xx