THE DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES

[sal]

I just thought i would share this with you as after all this time it sometimes still throws me totally of course.

My first day, on monday at my new job. Could it have got anyworse i ask myself. I had continuous panic attacks, the diazepam wasnt even taking the edge of them. I struggled all day, my realistic approach to getting my life back on map had just been slowly pulled away from me. I came home and cried and cried. I had failed in my head. I couldnt cope with the job or any other for that matter, the proof was staring me in the face. I couldnt settle all night, i felt sick, i wanted to curl up and hide and never face anyone again. I had by this time, in my head, lost my home as no wage coming in, no confidence as i hadnt coped and felt like i really wanted to die because my life had no point in it. I am serious when i say that because that is exactly how i felt.

I returned to work on the Tuesday morning, all night before i convinced myself how to get out of this without looking so much as i had let myself and everyone around me down. At work i told them i couldnt work away when required, great get out as some of the job would be working away, but they offered to locate me up in the north east. I told them this at 8.30 a.m. but stayed to wait for them to say i would have to work away so that was my exit. But at 10.30 they said the would cater for me and help all they could. A slight weight lifted but didnt i really want out of this because i felt i couldnt do it. I thought long and hard and decided i had nothing to lose but to carry on with the course and see how i coped. I got through the day and came home positive and confident that i had made that decision not to give in at the first hurdle.

So a day makes such a difference when we are feeling so anxious and how our state of mind can change. I just hope this helps someone if only one person that the stage where its all anxiety and panic that we can come through this and each day is so different and there is always a light however distant.



Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[manmoor]

Hi Sal,

What a lovely positive post. Well done you for staying strong. xxx

"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."

[normalwisdom]

Well done Sal have been waiting for you to post.

A very big well done for telling them about the working away (even if there was a sort of motive for it)

Good for you I am so proud of you!

Steph

[sal]

Thank you for your replies. Been honest would have hoped more would have posted, but thats me been honest. I cant say how it will go from here but i overcame my panic and anxiety and to say i am proud of myself would be justified.

I took the fail or pass exam today and got top of group marks and got a 100%. Yes i was pleased but never once did i believe i could do that, just shows we dont know how we can do and dont believe in our capabilities.

Yeah i walked out today on a high but no tomorrow can be a different story but i achieved my best and what ever anyone thinks now i did what i thought i couldnt achieve.

Doubt becomes an achievement.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[Phill2]

Good on ya SalYou're right sometimes a day can make a world of difference.
Phill

Don't believe everything you think.

[clickaway]

Sal,

Congratulations on doing so well in the exam, and getting over that difficult first day.

One day at a time, but I hope that this will be a new beginning for you after all the crap you've been through.

Hugs,

Ray


http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[Ma Larkin]

Hi Sal,

I'm so glad you stuck at it, like you say, if we don't have a job, we can't pay the bills and it's just more anxiety added to what we are already going through.

I hope you really start to enjoy it, and it's great that they said they would cater for you.

Well done hun.

Les, xx

[ceecee]

hi sal
well done you,re doing great!!!!!!
take care
rach x

[sal]

Well i have just got home fully completed the course successfully and have my company vehicle, mobile and computer. I have all the weekend of and am going out with another enforcement officer for two weeks just to get some experience under my belt. So after a bad start ive actually really enjoyed the week and i am looking forward to getting out there and doing the job.

Thanks for all your posts.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[EebyJeeby]

Hi Sal,

Huge congratulations!

You struggled with your demons and battled your way through it nonetheless, ending in a huge success for you. It's funny how sometimes when we try to avoid things by engineering the situation, it sometimes gets turned completely on its head leaving you with no excuses! It's happened to me a couple of times too, and just as well or I'd have missed out on something good!

Your story is an inspiration to all.

So very well done :-)

Eeb