All or Nothing thinking

[cece]

try and join a cognitive training group and learn how to counter your thoughts in a tea form. Or get the books by sam obitz and david burns and start doing them everyday on your own. You really can retrain your brain to eliminate all or nothing thoughts.

[matt1981]

Hi Matt,

I'm with you 100% on that one-I've always had to be 100% successful in everything I do, otherwise I'm miserable. When I went for CBT, they taught me to write down in a table my black/white thoughts, how these thoughts made me feel, and suggest a more balanced outlook. A very useful book for identifying worry-thought patterns and changing them is David Burns' Feeling Good.
PS: I noticed from another of your posts that you're from Solihull-so am I! Well, I was born there and lived in Shirley till I was 14 and moved to Stratford upon Avon, where I live now.
PPS: Re your reply to my contribution to the post on seroxat withdrawal. Yes, I was put on it when I was 14, before all the red tape came in, forbidding docs to prescribe it to under 18s and I'm so glad I was! I know they can prescribe in certain circumstances, where they think the benefits outweigh any possible dangers, but it must be awful not to be able to take anything because you're under a certain age.
Sarah

Thanks for ur advice I got that book I havent readit yet tho cos I only had it delivered yesterday! looks good tho where about in shirley did u live? small world hey?

[cece]

Matt the sooner you get started the sooner you will begin to feel relief

[cece]

How's it going Matt? I hope you are making progress

[matt1981]

Im making some progress i dont read it often enough tho but i do dip into it when im feeling down. how u doing?

matt

[xjlmummy]

Yep, all or nothing, everything has to be perfect, I have to be perfect. On the very rare occasions I'm not perfect I give up totally. Thus, I do fabulous Christmases and birthdays (hmm but they never quite match my ideal), brilliant dinner parties, was a great nurse and a great charity worker...but the house is a mess and I'm horribly overweight because I can't make either perfect so I've given up totally. And yes, relationships - I try and try and try to fix things, and then I issue the all-or-nothing ultimatum!

I guess that, and all the other posts, mean you're not alone in this sort of thinking. I'm hoping to learn to accept my imperfections while not abandoning all hope for others - good luck with yours.

S.x

[matt1981]

my psychologist said to me to try and change what i say even little things like "it always rains" to something like "it sometimes rains" it doesn't seem like much but it makes a difference

[cece]

I'm doing really good matt thanks for asking. Isn't it amazing that just by making a few simple adjustments in how we process things can help so very much

[cece]

Hey matt how are you doing? I'm still getting better and hope things are good with you too

[cece]

Check your PM Matt