Just started..

[unspoken]

Shaz, I know what you mean about the Zopiclone - 7.5mg would send me to sleep for about 3 hours and then I'd wake up wide awake and anxious. It also gave me a nasty taste in my mouth. The doctor would only prescribe me 14 tablets to prevent me getting addicted but I only got the chance to take 4 of them as somebody else took the rest :-(

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your dog that caused this spiral. Losing dogs is really hard, they are family members, but there isn't the same understanding from people in general of how hard it is to lose one. When I am able to work, I work in an office where people are allowed to bring dogs in, and it is lovely. However, it does mean we share in the sadness if one of them has to be put to sleep. I miss the office dogs at the moment, being stuck at home with no pets.

Wearing the heart monitor sounds challenging. Did you find it difficult sleeping with it attached? You did well to go to the appointment by yourself. I'm not driving at the moment due to the disorientation and drowsiness, but I am lucky that I live in a city where driving is rarely necessary.

[Doze]

These threads are getting pretty confusing. It's hard to keep up with who's who and doing what.

I had a bad night's sleep last night and so today I'm stuck in bed again feeling exhausted and anxious.

I'm not a dog person I'm afraid. My chronic fatigue would make owning a dog impossible anyway. Two walks and a GP visit in one day would take a miracle for me at this point.

I would echo the sleeping pill comments. I think they are only designed knock you out for 4 hours, I guess in the hope that you then sleep naturally after that. But they made me feel like crap after waking, so the sleep gained by taking them was barely worth it.

The Mirt has helped me sleep though. It doesn't knock me out but it does enough to help me on the way. But I still have to try and keep good sleep practices; not sleeping during the day, trying to wake and sleep at the same time every day, winding down before bedtime etc. I'm still having bad nights, but the occasional bad night is better than continuous.

[Istherehope?]

Just read all the new posts on various Mirt threads - think I'm going to stick to one post here just to keep things simple!

Welcome Unspoken, it's nice to get a new member to the Mirt club - as you can see there's some truly lovely, understanding people on these threads and whilst we might not have all the answers there's plenty of support around. Sounds like it's really tough for you right now, I hope sticking at 50mg Sertraline helps balance things a bit for you.

Sorry to hear you had a rubbish night Doze, I hope it's just a blip. Do you know when the mental health team are going to get back to you or is it just sometime this week? Interesting to hear your experience at 15mg Mirt...I suspect it's possible it wouldn't have been enough to help me but I do wish now that I'd had the opportunity to find out before increasing the dose.

I'm still a bit wobbly, day three of increase to Ven, so it may be side effects and definitely too early for any benefit from the increase. I'm tired and feeling a bit sorry for myself I think - anxiety sucks.

Love hearing about the dogs though. I would like a dog but wouldn't have time to care for one so we have two cats instead. They definitely leave plenty of hair around too! It would be great to work somewhere that dogs are allowed too, I can see why you're missing them as well as the people Unspoken.

And Shaz I'm so sorry that you had to put one of your precious dogs to sleep. I grew up with a dog and was very sad when he died.its a shame that people can't understand what a loss it is for you, it makes grieving so much harder.

[Shazamataz]

Yes the threads are getting confusing and since it's the same group of us perhaps we should stick with this one? (though I started a new one as I had some specific questions.

Morning here. I had a rough night only sleeping between 1-3 and about 3.30-5. The halter monitor hasn't bothered me too much but feeling really rough this morning so no idea how I'm going to get back into town to drop it off at the hospital. I haven't really been up to doing anything strenuous so I don't expect they will get much information of use. I planned to take the dogs for a good walk this morning nut it's super wet and I feel really ill. Have taken an anti-nausea tablet and waiting for it to kick in.

I'm really fed up with being so ill. Glands still like golf balls this morning. Anxious about a long, lonely day ahead. Just wanting to sleep but unable to. I stayed in bet til 7.30 but just continued to feel worse.

Sorry to be such a negative nancy. Hopefully things will pick up later today.

[Istherehope?]

Definitely don't need to apologise for saying it how it is Shaz - that's what this forum is for. I know I can feel that I should be sounding more positive five months into this illness, but what we're going through is genuine suffering. It's extra tough when you're ill too - I find doing things can be a distraction, but if you're too unwell to do anything then you don't even have that. I really hope things do pick up, but if they don't you can be honest about it here.

[Shazamataz]

Definitely don't need to apologise for saying it how it is Shaz - that's what this forum is for. I know I can feel that I should be sounding more positive five months into this illness, but what we're going through is genuine suffering. It's extra tough when you're ill too - I find doing things can be a distraction, but if you're too unwell to do anything then you don't even have that. I really hope things do pick up, but if they don't you can be honest about it here.

Thanks. Today worse than have been in a while

Not sure what to do with myself. Can;t eat. Have tried to go back to sleep but feel too horrible. Just having to ride it out I guess.

[Istherehope?]

Riding it out...sounds so simple, but so hard when every moment is torment. I wish I could sit with you and just be there so you weren't on your own. I'm cheering you on from thousands of miles away xx

[unspoken]

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling good Shaz. This forum is a place where you don't have to pretend to be ok if you're not. I hope the anti-nausea medication helps. Swollen glands are horrible and being physically ill on top of anxiety/depression makes everything feel so much worse. I guess today is just one of the less good days and you just have to look after yourself the best you can and hope for a better day tomorrow. I'm also cheering you on.

[Shazamataz]

Thanks for the encouragement. Been in bed with heart pounding. I suppose that's good as the heart monitor will pick that up! Not that it's much help as you don't even get results for two weeks.

Seriously thinking that anything with seretonin in it is doing me more harm than good. After having a bad reaction to doubling my escitalopram back in October things just keep going from bad to worse.

Just deciding whether to see if I can get in to the GP today but not optimistic they will have a space or be able to do anything except tell me to stop the Mirt.

Then I'm back to square one again *sigh*

Oh well, at least I have a friend coming soon. Really don't want to haveto ask her to come and stay with me again as she has her own life and her own problems.

You guys are lovely

[sandie]

Sorry to hear you have been so bad Shaz, and can fully sympathise because I have had a few bad days. It is now around 2 weeks since I stopped the Mirt and I had tapered right down to 7,5 mg. My sleep is still erratic - mostly bad, and I am absolutely convinced that for most of us will this awful bl**dy illness, sleep plays a HUGE part.

Sunday night I only managed a little over one hour's sleep and yesterday was the worst day I have had in a while. Having said that, because my brother has been so poorly and in hospital, I have also been worried about him. He has been on a cocktail of antibiotics, steroids, heart meds and oxygen 24/7. He was discharged yesterday evening and he should have been given a tank to be set up at home. They forgot and had to taxi one over to him in the evening which he then couldn't set up - all a bit of a mess really. He has the hospital home care team visiting today so hopefully they will sort it out.

Shaz - our current Golden (Finlay) is almost 9 and is our second Golden. We lost our first (Morgan) when he was 3 months short of his 14th birthday and he was fit and healthy right up util the last 4 weeks of his life. When you lose a dog it can be heart-wrenching, so I can imagine the impact it has had on you.

It does sound as though you are coping with a huge amount at the moment Shaz and I do feel for you. Having a friend to stay for a few days may well be the lift you need to see you through this blip. Take care.