To Reassure or Not Reassure?

[Soapbox]

Hi everyone,

My partner suffered from severe anxiety, and has now learnt to manage it. All through the worrying days I supported and reassured her.

Since then I have heard that giving reassurance is not necessarily the correct thing to do.

I just wondered what everyone's views are on this?

Thanks

Soapbox

[cattttt]

From my perspective, if my partner reassured me, I probably wouldn't believe him! What I would really like is a hug when I'm feeling bad, and just for him to be there and not make judgements about my irrational fears. Sometimes, him going out and leaving me on my own, even though I ask him not to has been good, I found out that it's not so bad after all and I just have to keep myself occupied.
Reassurance can sometimes be counterproductive, in that it tells you there is something to worry about, don't know what other people think.

[Filthy1]

i agreew with you, its not always a good thing cuas not reassuring people can force them to get over it themselves i suppose

[sarah1984]

Hi soapbox,

Your partner is lucky to have such a supportive bloke! When I was ill with anxiety, I regularly sought reassurance from my mum, who used to give me a hug and comfort me, but the problem was it only had a brief calming effect and a few minutes later I'd be back wanting more and it used to drive her crazy! As well as being annoying, I think it was a bad thing, as it was a way of avoiding confronting my worries head on and prevented me from finding new thinking patterns myself. On the other hand, when she used to get cross with me, it was even worse as I tried to pretend to pull myself together, which was a real struggle.
Glad to hear she's coping better now,
Sarah