Now I understand I'm not alone

[trace]

Since I was young, I've known there was something different about me, and how I dealt with things, but I didn't know what. I suffered with depression, panic attacks, was very shy and just shut down. I had time off school, because i'd been bullied for years and it had all come to a head. I approached doctors and they just said the panic attacks were infact asthma (!!!!) and I wasn't getting enough exercise and that was why I was depressed. I went on to suffer problems with food and eating, and a few years later seemed to start to pull it all together and start to get on with my life.

I was still left with the panics, shyness, and inability to relax, worrying about everything. Avoiding work situations through fear of blushing, getting more down every time i did blush. I went to see a life coach in hope it would help, and from one free session, i went on to do some reading, brought 'The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook' and did some reading. I finally had an answer - I had social phobia.

All the time of worrying about blushing, avoiding situations, staying unemployed so I didn't have to meet people - it had a name.

I have to admit, it was quite a relief to know I wasn't alone. It is a relief, and means I can get on with life, but I still struggle at work to a huge extent. Sitting in meetings thinking about my sweaty hands and having to shake peoples hands at the end of the meeting. Heart racing and getting shaky.

I'm glad I found this site and now realise i'm not alone. Does anyone have a similar story. Does anyone else struggle at work like me?

Trace

[trace]

Hi Nigel

Thanks for the reply. I think its slowly getting easier, I think I may just have to accept that I'm always going to be a slightly anxious person but I can learn to accept it and use it in a good way, as long as I can control it.

Thank you for the links, I will check them out.

I look forward to geting to know people through this site.

Trace

[Piglet]

I don't have social phobia hun but wanted to say hello and welcome to the site.

Piglet

[skylight2007]

Hiya there trace!!! I hope your well today, being reading your post and just thought I 'd like to share my thoughts on what your shared here with us.
Social anxiety affects so many people, and bullying has never been acceptable not by anyones standards, the affects of bullying are horrendous and it is a form of emotional abuse!!!! I understand your reasons for avoidance, its your way of coping with the huge feelings you mentioned.
Emotional abuse takes away and chips at our confidence in very small ways, and it leaves us feeling worthless and trying to find our place in society.
You are someone who has a great deal to offer, sometimes our sad feelings leaves wondering what the hell our we good at, when all we get is negative feedback about being different!!!!!!!!!!!
We are all different but the one thing we all have in common is that we all FEEL!!
Sometimes it is hard to know what we are good at, when we are made to believe we are not good at anything, you have the strength to go to work, you still feel anxious in meetings, but your there, facing your issues head on, your pushing yourself forward and however hard it is, your achieving something positive for yourself.
Your slowly building your confidence in situations where you know you would once avoided, BRILLIANT, JUST BRILLIANT!!!, for people who do not suffer from bullying or anxiety disorders , they cannot fully comprehend just how brilliant your effort has been!!!
I just wanted to show you, that your doing very well under the pressures and that is strenght, courage and the ability to overcome obstacles!!!!!! I feel you have what it takes to achieve whatever you want to achieve, and as time goes by you will gain more control and you'll will be incharge of your feelings, not others.

Take good care of you and I do appreciate how hard it is to stay on track to get better.

Love skylight

[trace]

Hey

Thank you all for your lovely posts - its really nice to hear from you.

Thank you skilight for your truly positive and encouraging response. You've made me realise that i'm achieving something every day.

I really appreciate hearing from you

Trace

[skylight2007]

Your very welcome trace, its just acknowledging the good things you are achieving for yourself and concentrating on the positives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , sincere wishes. skylight