Im totally lost

[yorkylover]

Hi,my brother is an alcoholic.He is 35 and been drinking since he was 14.He has caused so much grief to me and my parents for 20 years.I cant go into all the problems,its far to long,problems with the police,drink driving,assaults,verbal abuse ect ect.He has come out with so many excuses over the years for drinking you would not believe.When he was a teenager he told us he was gay,we excepted that.Then about 4 years ago he wanted to be a women,even as far as to go to charring cross hospital for the hormones ect.We supported him in that,very hard it was to.Then it was back to being gay.Well he has just done 7 months in prison on remand for a serious assault,he was found not guilty.This was two weeks ago.
The last week he has been a nightmare,he asked if he could speak to our family counsellor alone,he needed to tell her something he couldnt tell us,but gave her permission to tell us after he had spoken to her.
Well she spoke to us this afternoon and told us that when he was 25 he was sexually assaulted by two men.He has managed to block it out until now,but the flat he is supposed to be moving into with a mate is around the corner from where the assault took place,and its all come flooding back.
How do we deal with this sort of news.he is like the boy who cried wolf!!!!
Im just numb.I feel nothing.He said he didnt want to tell us because we would think it was his fault for being drunk.
My brother is always wanting to be center of attention,there is always a problem with him.The counsellor thinks he is telling the truth this time.
He is destroying my family.My parents are at retirement age,and they have become ill,tired and withdrawn.I cant tell you what I feel about him as you would think I was a nasty person.I just cant take anymore of this.The last year has been hell,my anxiety today is manic .
He has no respect for my parents at all,it kills me to see what he is putting them through,but there parents and they still help him and support him.
Im sorry I just feel so mad,low,anxious and dont know where to turn.
Iv probably made no sense,its just to long to go into.Thanks for being there anyway.

[skylight2007]

Hiya Ellen, so sorry to hear what your going through with your brother, there seems to be so much going on for him and now the issue with the sexual assualt. I can hear how hard your trying to cope, and it does wear you down, worrying about your parents tooo. It just sounds as if you cannot be sure anymore if he is telling your the truth, and so your left with this information of what do you do with it. What can you do with it Ellen, it sounds as if he has been given lots of support from what you were saying, and his drinking , issues with his sexuality etc.... it just seems so hard, but this is his responsibilty dont you think. You sound worn out and burnt out emotionally and maybe you need to take a step back for your own sanity, cant imagine the anxieties and worries your feeling right now.
You are entitled to how you feel Ellen, if you feel numb, feel angry, well thats normal under the circumstances, because you just wish their was a answer to all this conflict and problems with your brother. I am sorry your going through this, and it does drain you emotionally trying to support a memeber of the family who has major problems like your brother.
I hope the counsellor can get him the help , providing he wants it of course.
I dont know if I have been any help to you, but I hope you'll feel a bit better soon, I know its easier said than done to just switch off, its hard , but do take care of you the best you can. Love skylight.