I'm going to ask to go back on the anti-depressants. Maybe stronger ones. I stopped taking them thinking I was okay, and I was for a while. But I'm such a worrier. I'm sick of being like this.
For people in London you might know that the Ideal Home Show is on. I was going to go with my mum this morning. Like we do every year. But last night I started thinking of excuses not to go. My stomach was churning, with nerves or something, I dunno. And I woke up after 5 hours sleep to run through what I was going to say to get out of it. I have no idea why I didn't want to go. I just know I didn't. I feel awful. Mum's really pissed with me.
I'm exhausted and I feel like crap. And... god, I just don't need this...
I didn't think I had that much trouble with anxiety and leaving the house. I was never really like that. It frightens me that I might be.
Not having a good day. Or week for that matter.
~ xo