sorry for the bitching but im just so fed up with feeling this way latley i have no clue what to do with myself anymore,ive been suffering for 18 yrs on and off and right now its so bad i hate myself for the person i am for the reason no one understands here at home and i hate depending on peoples ya know,ive just have soo much going on im sure like us all thats why i hate complainin i know we all have our probs but i just cant seem to pull myself together this trip....i dont sleep i dont eat i cant concentrate people are always askin me whats wrong with you and im ready just to say .....if ya cant understand get out of my life but i know ya cant do that if ya dont have it ya dont understand it....i just pray maybe when spring comes and my work starts back up i start to feel better i dont see myself living day in and day out like this i never have even at my worst moments.....im also battling with having a drink which i stopped 14 yrs ago it wont stop going thru my head but i know thats not the answer, just some advise i know this shall pass one day it always has its just im alone this time with it and it makes it 100% worse right now,thanks for listening to me bitch, just had to vent ,thanks.....linda