Traveling away from home the longest flight and days.

[Saltlick]

Wish me luck, long time sufferor of anxiety due to agoraphobia. Been steadily increasing time away from home but even this one is far for me. 5hr flight and 8 days away (for work). Two years ago i couldnt drive more than 30 min away from my house...trips an hour away to stay one night in a hotel with the wife was a night with 0 sleep, sweating having full blown panick attacks all night up wAlking the dark streets because my heart was beating so hard. Ive come along way...there is hope! The fix? How did i get here? I wish it was simple! Spending 2 years being forced to face my fears by a combo of work related trips and a wife that likes to take vacations. Basically me being pushed way past my comfort zone again and again. I had to travel every 3 months to another state for work. That consisted of me driving 4-5hrs to get there then stay in a hotel for 5 days. It was travel there, or get fired. So many panick attacks just driving there, so many sleepless nights of panick. My wife loves to fly a few times a year as well, shes whats got me to this point. Can i do this flight and trip? Yes. Could i have done this 2 years ago? Hell no! Was it tough to get to this point? Theres a level beyond tough i went through, if i can do it anyone can.

[Mermaid16]

Good on you for never giving up and not letting the panic win!!!

[Saltlick]

Ha, well i made the flight and first night here fine. 2nd night, tonight, bad anxiety all night and no sleep. I have to get up in two hours and do this work thing here. Struggling like crazy to stay in the moment, no sleep makes it hard when all i can think of is i cant make it completely anxiety riddled and no sleep. I have no idea why i was fine on the trip and first night here..oh well nothing i can do now but fight the good fight.

[dally]

I'm so pleased for you that you made the flight and first night with ease
I admire you so much for continually pushing through your boundaries. The other option is what has been my life for the past 40 years. Housebound and basically no life!
But, I really do appreciate how hard it can be and how brave you are.
Well done you. And continued success.
Thank you SO MUCH for posting your positive post

[mark84]

I really admire you, my girlfriend struggles with agoraphobia and I see the pain it causes, but I also get to see the fantastic victories she makes. You've done amazingly well, keep fighting the good fight!

[Saltlick]

Well halfway done with the trip, 4 days in. Not all great but im making it. Made it through the day with no sleep at work. Fell asleep that night and slept good. Forced myself out of my comfort zone again by taking uber downtown to the state capitol, then the farmers market then to a local bar for a drink and lunch, then uber back to my hotel. Yes this might sound normal to others but for me this is huge. In a strange state, going downtown by myself is unheard of! strangest part is i had a great time!!

[Phuzella]

[swgrl09]

Wow, I have to give you so much credit for coming so far in 2 years. I struggle sleeping in hotels sometimes unless my husband is with me. I had to go for a conference alone last year around this time and it was definitely anxiety-provoking. But you are halfway there!

[Saltlick]

Im starting to believe there isnt any way around my fears other than through them. Meditation, being in the moment, and other things are tools ive learned to use in times of need, and they help...but unfortunatly the fear and anxiety is still there when i travel...just to a lessor degree everytime i face them. Ive heard this before but didnt understand it. I think its all about facing it again and again and again and not backing down. 2 years ago on my first flight it was for a new job. It was only a 45 minute flight and a 3 night stay but i was so terrified i stayed up the night before literally smoking and pacing my heart ready to burst. I finally came to the conclusion i would quit this job and skip the trip...at 5am the shuttle pulled up and i was throwing up and shaking, panick attacks and all. Idk why but i told my wife im going, i dont care if i die or if they call the police im getting on that plane, i will prob come right back and have to quit but im going. Of course i made it, and stayed and here i am today. A 45 min flight and 3 day stay now seems like a breeze. Ive had to do that trip 3 times that year. So my window opened a little wider. Now im ok with that, now its 5hr flights and 8 dsys away im battling..but im winning this one too. Its baby steps if you can do it, over and over again. If you let your fears win, eventually youll be confined to a chair which is where i started from many years ago. It was the only place i felt safe. Leaving the house was not an option so i know how bad it can be.

[amdj100]

Thankyou for sharing your story...I totally relate. Its so annoying because sometimes I'm completely calm then a like a wave the anxiety hits. I find thinking about the good things that the trip is bringing helps, and if I cant sleep lying in a hot bath helps