Hi everyone .
Just joined the forum and I believe this is the right place to ask for some advice ...
I have dated this girl for a few months . Everything was great at first . We were having fun , and everything was going nicely . The perfect relationship .
While we were dating however I could sort of feel that she was reserved . A lot . Things were moving slowly . In the end , after asking politely , and after long discussions , I got to understand that her past 2 boyfriends , were emotionaly and physicaly abusive to her . This , she admitted , has made her scared of new relationships . A fear which after meeting me , and after dating for a month , she said had gone away for good .
Two months ago , we had a very heated argument . It was my fault for insisting on talking about the topic the way I did , but it was about the way she was treating me , as a person . She has a very direct and sometimes offensive way of talking . Something that , at the time , was very stressing to me and wanting to discuss . This argument went out of control , and basically put our relationship on someting of a hold .
A month ago she had a severe anxiety/panic attack . She had to go to the hospital . And there the doctors told her that she was suffering from the depression . She is on medication now .
After some talking , she made it clear that the problem was way bigger than me and our relationship . She was having issues , like panic attacks , stress , and anxiety since she was 17 years old . Daily panic attacks and that sort of things . She now is 19 and I am 21 . She also admitted that her mother suffers from depression as well , and for a long time . Something I was not aware of .
Since then our relationship has been very stressing . I love her very much and I really wish to help .
She has pushed me away multiple times , saying that she no longer likes me , and that she no longer loves me .
She has thanked me for my support , and the love I show towards her . That I am always sweet and understanding .
She asked me to leave her alone . Something that I did , only for her to start texting me a few days later on her own . We live in different towns , I asked to go see her , she refused claiming we have nothing to discuss .
She said that we are not longer together , that I can go find another girl , but she shows signs of fear about this outcome . She has asked me 2-3 times if I am with a different girl , she has wished me good '' hunting '' , and good luck with '' those chicks '' . Even though I have made it clear that I love her very much and have intentions of '' replacing '' her .
She says she feels empty . That she does not know what she feel . She does not know if she ever really loved me . She says we are no longer together. She says she wants to be alone . She says she does not miss me at all . She says she does not want to see my anymore .
All of the above , and at the same time , she is texting me on her own . Breaking her own rules . Saying that she does not want to break up with me and stating that she does not want to decide what she wants of our relationship because she is confused . While at the same time wishing me good luck finding another partner .
She wonders if I am with an other girl . She says that if I find another girl she will feel terribly sad and disappointed . Why would a person feel that way and at the same time claim that they do not care ?
I do not know what to understand . I get conflicting signs everyday . I really want to help her . She is a brilliant girl , very smart in every sense of the word .
I really want some help , because the way things are , is putting a lot of stress on me , while I have my own family issues to resolve and I am in the middle of my final exams . I have difficulty coping and I feel awful and empty myself as time goes by .
Any advice would be much appreciated .
Thank you very much .
Chris .
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