Gutted!

[Andy1718]

So since being back at work on a supposed phased return my stress levels are high. I have been thrown in at the deep end with my timetable by my head who has ignored the phased return. I was recovering so well but my body is tight, slight nausea and can't get a full breathe. The workload is simply too much. The only way I seem to be able to survive is by taking propranolol which has an almost immediate effect like a placebo. But should I be going to teach on cit and prop? Surely that is not addressing the issue but just masking it. I worry about the long term effects on my body by masking the symptoms. My anxiety and stress is caused by work and workload but there doesn't seem to be any answer apart from going off sick and leaving. What to do? My new head is an ex PE type guy who doesn't really understand the issues and makes me feel weak by my problems.

[Mojo61]

Andy, how long is it now since the anxiety first started? If I remember rightly it's not that long at all and I've said all along that you hadn't given your body enough time to recover before rushing back to work.

I've been on Cit for over 5 months now and I'm still not "cured" or in any way ready to go back to work full time. I do 2 days a week voluntary in a day centre for elderly people and I love it, but doing a full week would be too much at the moment. You need to give your body time to recover before throwing it back into the very thing that started your problems off in the first place. You will be back to square one before you know it and what's the point in that?
On your other post you were advised to go to your doctor and consult your Union about this. Personally I think you shouldn't go back until a proper phased system has been put in place, this is all just too much for you.

[sidiam]

Andy, how long is it now since the anxiety first started? If I remember rightly it's not that long at all and I've said all along that you hadn't given your body enough time to recover before rushing back to work.

I've been on Cit for over 5 months now and I'm still not "cured" or in any way ready to go back to work full time. I do 2 days a week voluntary in a day centre for elderly people and I love it, but doing a full week would be too much at the moment. You need to give your body time to recover before throwing it back into the very thing that started your problems off in the first place. You will be back to square one before you know it and what's the point in that?
On your other post you were advised to go to your doctor and consult your Union about this. Personally I think you shouldn't go back until a proper phased system has been put in place, this is all just too much for you.

Hi
Sunday morning, the birds are singing, the sun is shining.
I feel awful and I can't be bothered to do anything .
Sxx

---------- Post added at 10:19 ---------- Previous post was at 09:49 ----------

So since being back at work on a supposed phased return my stress levels are high. I have been thrown in at the deep end with my timetable by my head who has ignored the phased return. I was recovering so well but my body is tight, slight nausea and can't get a full breathe. The workload is simply too much. The only way I seem to be able to survive is by taking propranolol which has an almost immediate effect like a placebo. But should I be going to teach on cit and prop? Surely that is not addressing the issue but just masking it. I worry about the long term effects on my body by masking the symptoms. My anxiety and stress is caused by work and workload but there doesn't seem to be any answer apart from going off sick and leaving. What to do? My new head is an ex PE type guy who doesn't really understand the issues and makes me feel weak by my problems.

Hi Andy,
Just wrote to you and the post disappeared, so I will start again.

I agree with the other advice you have had but I really think you have to make an appointment with your doctor/specialist and try and get things sorted out.
There are thousands of people in all walks of life who depend on mh. medication to get them through the day. Have you been on the citalopram and propanolol long term???
The propanolol is fast acting so is not a placebo, how much do you take?
What dose of citalopram are you taking???
I am not suggesting that you just keep on taking medication for ever but at the moment you need it.
The problem, as you say, is your work and the lack of understanding and support you get. Have you been working there a long time?
I hope you are coping today but imagine you are dreading tomorrow.
Can't you email the headmaster and explain that you need a phased return and not just for the first few days, it's easier to put things in black and white. No apologies, just tell him how it is.

Just a thought, I am still in therapy, see a CPN'er every few weeks. I am trying to teach myself to say NO! and to know my boundaries. It is difficult but I am trying. Do you ever say NO!!!!
take care
Sxx

[Andy1718]

Been on cit since end of may and prop on and off over that time. Took prop today and feeling a little more at ease. On 20mg of cit and only 20mg of prop. Yes I will speak to my union tomorrow. I have been in the same school for 22 years.

[sidiam]

That's a low dose of the prop. did the doctor say take when needed or regularly each day? Maybe you need a bit more citalopram but that you must discuss with your doc...
I've been on 20mg citalopram for 6 weeks and have had a few "glimmers".
Bad day today, glad it is nearly over.
hope you can get to talk to your union rep. soon and that they can help you. Try for an appointment with your doctor as well, then you have covered your options.
take care
Sxx