Hey all,

The past few days I've been suffering with a continuous feeling of anxiety again. The reason being a conversation with my psychiatrist on the current status of my medication. Escitalopram has helped quite a bit for my anxiety but it never got rid of my main symptom. Which is continuous existential obsessive thoughts. These thoughts make me feel as if something is 'off' in the world. For months I've wondered if it was DP/DR but I don't think it's like this because I don't have any of these other symptoms, just lots of rumination on existential topics.

Well back to the conversation with my psych. I was mentioning this to him and he was wondering if escitalopram was working as it should and proposed I tapered off escitalopram and maybe start with a low dose of anti-psychotic medication. At first I kinda agreed with the tapering of the ecit (because after 4 months I still had the thought thing) but the idea of having to start anti-psychotic meds has now really spiked my anxiety. I believe these thoughts are a symptom of anxiety or possibly related to a form of Pure OCD. But I feel my psychiatrist thinks something else.

Anyway, right now (especially during the night and early morning) my thoughts are really warped and I keep thinking what if i'm vulnerable for things like a psychosis etc. My rational me knows that it's again just anxiety pulling its tricks on me but the rational me is getting so outnumbered by my anxious mind at the moment. Last two night I couldn't sleep without Diazepam (1mg) and I would wake after 3 hours with tremor and bathing in sweat. Another milligram of diaz would get me back to sleep for another 3 hours and I'd wake up the same. During the day it's slightly more manageable and I don't take Diazepam. I'm really afraid of the dependence and I'm trying to keep my daily intake below 2mg atm.

I was wondering what your thoughts on the situation are.

Love, mrose

FYI: I did not start the tapering yet. And If I have to switch meds I'd rather cross taper to another SSRI/SNRI instead of an anti-psychotic.