The nature of my attacks are changing
Hello,
I have always had underlying anxiety that I have managed for the most part. However in the past few months in the lead up to a 2+ month trip around South America, I had my first panic attack. There was a clear beginning, climax and come down and I experienced typical symptoms as per the NHS website: intense trembling, the world was spinning, feeling like throwing up, intense fear, feeling like I was losing my mind. it was so intense but then over so quickly (20 mins) that after it ended it was easy to define it as a panic attack.
I am now on my trip in South America and am having bursts of attacks, however they are becoming much harder to recognise as they start so slowly and sometimes don't build into a full panic. The physical symptoms are much less intense than what they used to be, sometimes there are none at all, but the emotional symptoms are much more crippling. Tonight I went from the nice neighbourhood we are staying in to dinner in another one across town, which made me very uncomfortable as it looked really dodgy so i decided I wanted to go back home. In the cab home I began to feel waves of intense depression and fear, about how isolated I felt and I wondered how I would cope it anything ever goes wrong in my life. I always call my mum when I am worried, but what happens when she is no longer around? If I can't even handle panic when everything in my life is stable, how on earth will I cope when genuine things go wrong (as opposed to me just worrying about things that could possibly go wrong). I got back to our hotel and for the next hour I was plagued with feelings of being trapped and feeling like I would never feel normal again. I felt no physical symptoms at all. It went away after another hour (I took 2.5mg of Valium also) and I feel okay again now.
Anyway sorry for the long post but I was wondering if anyone else can relate to their attacks changing in nature in this way? Is that normal? I wondered whether I am developing a different disorder or if this is all part of panic.
Thank you for your time
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