How much should anxiety affect your life?

[Fay13]

Does anyone ever wonder about how much they adapt their life in a reasonable way to accommodate their anxiety, and how much is not reasonable?

Obviously you should try not to let anxiety control your life but some decisions are made with anxiety in mind. For example, you are invited to a party but you know that lack of sleep makes your anxiety worse and the day after the party you have something you have to do which you know will make you anxious anyway and don’t want that exacerbated by lack of sleep and would really prefer a quiet night the night before.

Is not going to the party an example of letting anxiety run your life and therefore not advisable, or is not going a sensible decision as you are recognising how different things affect your anxiety and recognising behaviours that may need to change, given you have an illness?

Another example would be being offered a promotion so that your job would involve more meetings. Meetings cause you anxiety and therefore having that as a key part of your job may have quite negative implications for your mental health. But would turning it down be letting the anxiety “win”?

Sorry if this is a bit rambling, but it’s something I think about a lot when I consider my anxiety and how it is affected, in relation to decisions I make.

[Panicer]

Hi Fay

I think the answer is probably we have to face up to our fears or the anxiety wins again and we give it more power. However in saying that if you are managing to deal with your anxiety and live a happy life then I can completely understand not wanting to exasperate it.

I too am letting anxiety control my life at the moment and use avoidance of doing certain things or going certain places as a technique to stop getting over anxious but everyone I have spoken to has told me I need to face my fears or they will grow. So I am trying to do that day by day.

The job promotion could always empower you and help in the long run?

Good luck

[Lissa101]

Does anyone ever wonder about how much they adapt their life in a reasonable way to accommodate their anxiety, and how much is not reasonable?

Obviously you should try not to let anxiety control your life but some decisions are made with anxiety in mind. For example, you are invited to a party but you know that lack of sleep makes your anxiety worse and the day after the party you have something you have to do which you know will make you anxious anyway and don’t want that exacerbated by lack of sleep and would really prefer a quiet night the night before.

Is not going to the party an example of letting anxiety run your life and therefore not advisable, or is not going a sensible decision as you are recognising how different things affect your anxiety and recognising behaviours that may need to change, given you have an illness?

Another example would be being offered a promotion so that your job would involve more meetings. Meetings cause you anxiety and therefore having that as a key part of your job may have quite negative implications for your mental health. But would turning it down be letting the anxiety “win”?

Sorry if this is a bit rambling, but it’s something I think about a lot when I consider my anxiety and how it is affected, in relation to decisions I make.

I had a really similar conversation with my therapist recently where I said that I wasn't sure whether I should live the life I want to live or whether I should live an easier but less interesting life that doesn't trigger my anxiety so much. She emphatically encouraged me to live the life I want to live! I'm not sure this advice works for everyone but I'll be damned if anxiety is going to stop me having the experiences I want. I believe that with time I (and others) can learn to cope with things like work meetings (which I absolutely dread right now) x