My anxiety is destroying my life!

[lily1]

My anxiety is destroying my life..

My partner is getting stressed with me because I'm taking time off work, because I dread going in because I feel I'm being bullied and picked on. The workload is a lot of pressure and I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Because I nervous about speaking to my boss my partner rings in for me.

I'm seeing a Dr today, as I feel so low and Ill.

Instead of feeling supported I feel I'm a nuisance to my other half, he thinks I can control how I feel and just get on with it.
I want to leave my job but am too scared to tell them.
What do I do???

[Carnation]

I've been in that situation a few times Lily.

You've already said it. You can't carry on working there, because it is making your life hell and more to the point; ill!
In security terms, you need another job to go to before your leave.
But, if you can manage for a while with just your partner's income, then I would not hesitate and hand in your notice.
If you leave of your own accord, you can not get benefits immediately to support you. BUT, if you are leaving because it is making you ill and you would have to get a certificate form your GP to say such things, then you have a case for support when unemployed. BUT, another one. It may complicate things and cause delays. It also depends on how long you have worked there and the type of company/position you are in.

I left on all of my occasions and my family supported me until I found something else.
Here come the 'BUTs' again. You may not find anything straight away, so there is a risk here.
I put my health and wellbeing first.
I would have a chat with your partner/family and friends and listen to all their advice and in the meantime, you could a certificate from your GP for time off stating that you are rundown and depressed and that would then go in your favour if you left. x

[lily1]

Thank you, I have the doctors so will see what happens.


I just don't know how I'm going to tell my boss without looking stupid, and then having to face no one talking to me whilst I serve my notice.

I find it hard confronting people, and I don't want to be talked into staying..

[Carnation]

Lily, I got a medical certificate to sign me off for my notice and my O/H to take my notice in to my boss. x

[diamondgeezer65]

I too was in the same situation due to anxiety/depression and managed to claim employment support allowance with my doctors note.

[lily1]

Saw a doctor and he was useless said I needed to sort it out with them or leave basically.
He said I can be off without a medical note for a week, and said if I still feel the same to ring in and they will sign me off for a week.
Not very sympathetic at all.

I want to resign but it's hard as my boss wants me to stay

[Carnation]

It does sound like you got a very unsympathetic GP.
Can you see someone different at your surgery?
The fact that if you go back to them again, it will show them that it is serious to you and it is making you ill. x

[MentalState]

I'm really sad to read about the response you got from your GP lily. That was way to harsh. My advice is to see a different Dr, one that is far more understanding of your illness. I was feeling like you at work 2 years ago with severe anxiety and depression building up to unmanageable levels due to my underlying and pre-existing mental health disorder.

Additionally, because I was fairly new to the company, still in probation period and young they started taking advantage of me giving me ridiculous work loads and making me do all the heavy lifting on my own. I've never been a fast worker, I tend to trade speed for accuracy and quality of my work which never seems to be appreciated in any company I've worked for. I'm always told to hurry up which is very stressful as I do my best.

I then had a mad moment at work. Anxiety related. I felt the noise of the people barking orders at me fade out into distance and then I got a tunnel like vision to head for the exit. With colleagues talking to me and asking questions, I simply went on auto pilot - "flight" mode and walked out on my night shift at 3AM in the middle of winter when it was freezing cold.

Being a rural area, I had a colleague take me to work and home as they passed my village on the way. Well, I ended up walking for MILES in the freezing cold in a t shirt in a mental state I can only describe as incredibly impulsive and vulnerable.

As I was walking through the pitch black country side, I suddenly started to come down a bit from that weird detached state and started thinking about the severe consequences of what I had done whilst simultaneously but slowly contracting hypothermia!

I needed that job financially. I felt so crushed by the thought of what I done. I knew I'd be ineligible for benefits and I'd be in serious trouble money wise. I also had all these recollections of my childhood trauma whizzing through my head and all the bad choices i made in life dealing with them. I started adding this very situation I was in to the long list of **** ups I made in life and felt so suicidal I started contemplating waiting by the high speed country road to jump out in front of a car to end all this crazy anxiety and depression.

Then I called my dad as I started walking to the road and my dad knew something was up with my voice, the sound of me shivering in the cold and my fast breathing from the walking. Not to mention the 3:30AM call! - I was thinking how i wanted to hear his voice for what could be the last time and to tell him I loved him no matter what.

Talking to him brought me down and I got the stupid idea out of my head when I considered how it could **** up the drivers life forever inflicting them with anxiety- I'd never want that on anyone, but my dad telling me he loved me made all the difference.

Prior to this I had never informed Dr's of my mental condition. 'd carried all this weight on my own for years. I was scraping through life with JSA and jobs that wouldn't last as I could never hold them down so the idea of getting financial and mental relief from being signed off work had never crossed my mind.

I finally made it home almost totally numb from the cold which actually detracted me from my crazy thoughts for a bit and went to bed in a terrible anxious state still wondering what the hell I was going to do and how I'd break the news to my mum of what i did as I was helping her financially, something she relied on.

She immediately took my to a GP and explained everything and I was signed off for 6 weeks with a sick note and put on Citalopram. I was then informed to claim ESA which i did and i then got relief from the pressures of finances for a short while. I got assessed thoroughly after the short term sign off and they deemed me unfit for work for a year, now coming up to 2 years. I got diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety.

So that's how it went for me lily. Your situation sounds a little similar but just know there is help, I never knew there was until this happened. I thought being signed off sick was something only people with debilitating PHYSICAL illnesses got (like paralysis or blindness) and when it came to mental health I was certain that only those completely unable to look after themselves like schizophrenics or psychotic disorders could get. Besides from that, up until this point I was always happy to be working and never wanted to be signed off from work anyway but I guess it got to a point where I could no longer keep myself afloat.