travel

[Elizabeth97]

Hey,
I've suffered with anxiety for several years now (I'm 18) and i have always had my mum to help me get through it. It became much less severe and now i only get it occasionally.
I have planned to travel for a few months with my boyfriend and i really want to be looking forward to it, however my anxiety is stopping me from looking forward to this amazing opportunity.
Im worried I'm going to have anxiety out there and need to come home, or I'm going to miss my family too much and struggle without them if something goes wrong.
I have never really been away from home by myself, and although my boyfriend is amazing and supportive i am scared he won't understand how i feel about the whole situation.
I just worded if anyone had been through a similar situation and has any advice on how to look forward to this trip more.
Thanks

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Elizabeth97 and welcome to NMP

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way

[fduop]

Elizabeth97

All I can do is tell you of my own experience. I've suffered from panic & anxiety for a really long time. And even though I go to therapy and take medication (buspirone & fluoxetine) I can still get panicked. When I know I'm needing to go somewhere my anxiety will amp up, but I do my best to "bite the bullet" and push through it. What I discover time and time again, is that my fears are unfounded and the trip wasn't so bad.

In fact I need to go shopping today, which for us means driving 50 US miles to the nearest larger town. I know it's never easy, but in my situation it's me doing it or no one; because my wife cannot drive. The thing is breathe through the situation and tell yourself I am okay and that I have a wonderful supporting partner with me. Also be straight with your boyfriend, if he really cares your panic situation will not deter his care for you.

Hope this helps, best to you Elizabeth97 and enjoy your trip.

[beatroon]

Hi Elizabeth,

I hope you're doing well today, and thanks for coming on here and sharing your experiences with us. You'll find a lot of people here have been in the same boat, anxiety-wise. Travel can be a big trigger, so you're definitely amongst friends.

The best thing anyone has ever said to me about anxiety is that you shouldn't let it stop you doing the things you want to do. So you've booked this fantastic trip with your boyfriend and that's exactly the right thing. Now all you have to do is make sure you're prepared and do your best to relax and enjoy it.

I find it helps to think through the worst-case scenarios. It sounds like you are mainly worried about feeling anxious whilst away. OK, so you're worried you might feel too anxious to continue the trip away from friends and family - but you'll have your lovely boyfriend, so a safe person will be there too. And if the worst were to happen and you were to struggle, well, so you might end up cutting the trip short! That wouldn't be the end of the world, it would just be a question of trying again later, and people would understand.

What steps can you put in place to guard against this eventuality? You could certainly talk more to your boyfriend about how you're feeling, I'm sure that would set your mind at rest. Make sure that you aren't going to be too busy, that you have breaks for fun things and self-care. Could you take a laptop so that you can Skype home regularly? That would help you feel in contact with folks back home and make you feel more secure. I really think the answer, as so often with anxiety, is to get out on the front foot and tackle it head on.

From my own experience, I have always found travel anxiety-provoking but ultimately brilliant once you get there, and have always been very proud that I've been able to take trips. Matt Haig writes really well about this in 'Reasons to Stay Alive' - he says he could either have been someone with anxiety and panic who sat at home, or someone with anxiety and panic away in Paris with his wife. When you look at it like that, the choice is a bit clearer, I think.

have a look at some of the other holiday-anxiety-type threads on here, and you'll find that lots of people have the same issue, often posting throughout the lead-up to the holiday and during it, and after. I'm yet to read one where they say 'I couldn't cope and had to come home' - so that's also encouraging!

Good luck and keep us posted x