Hi all

I know I'm not regular here these days, but I do still come in times of troubled thoughts and reflections.
I keep journals....But sometimes I need to write where people can see.

I finally got the phonecall that I have been waiting for. My mentalist ion therapy is due to start in May. After being referred 2 and a half years ago....This is it.

Now I know better than to put all expectation and hope into this therapy. But. I have stabilised a an much as I can without professional input. It feels like I have been left in chronic emotional pain all this time, and now there is a chance to have life without that pain.

I am scared. Terrified even. Because it might not work. The things I have buried are complex. I am worried that I end up worse off....I could lose even more than I have already.

It's easy to look at and see how a tool can work....But to use and operate that tool on my own is going to be hard, and I am emotionally weak. I need to balance motivation, pressures expectations so that this opportunity isn't wasted.

Anyway. That's the main update that needed recording.