Does there have to be an underlying reason

[up a ladder]

I don't think I have had a hard life at all. I consider that I was not favoured by my parents as a child,but that was about it. My overachieving brother seemed to get the majority of the attention, but this does not seem to be major.

My panic attacks started in 96 when a friend, but not that close a friend actually shot himself. Could this generated panic attacks after so long.

[groovygranny]

Don't think so up a ladder, but others may have a different view.

I was an only child and although I had an unusual childhood, I don't consider I've had such a hard life either now I think of it.

Must have had my first PA when I was at secondary school - but I didn't know it at the time.

What an awful thing for you to have experienced though - wouldn't be surprised at all if that didn't have something to do with your present circumstances.