Originally Posted by
Deckard
Hey bee84,
I get what you are trying to say, and I (mostly) agree. But I feel I have to add my two cents to your analysis.
I believe social anxiety, more than any other form of anxiety, is related to someone's personality. Socially anxious people are often shy and introverted. Now, one could argue that those attributes cause the anxiety or vice-versa. It's the chicken and the egg question. That being said, I don't necessarily think shyness or being introverted are bad character traits. On the contrary. So I guess what I'm trying to say is: an OP that asks how to deal with a specific situation may not _always_ want to change in a way that seems acceptacle by a society where being loud and obnoxious is rewarded. He or she may only want to find a way to deal with an unavoidable social situation, and not have people lecture about how he or she is not behaving in the "correct" manner.
I myself have social anxiety, among other things (like health anxiety.) I know that I am socially awkward, but it was never an problem for me personaly. Although it has sometimes caused issues because I didn't (and still don't) act in a way others expected. I sometimes have ideas and theories which are unconventional, and people seem to be judging me because of them. Let them. I do not want to change who I am only to please someone. Call me a non-confirmist, but that's just the way I am. And I think many people on here are non-conformist in a some way or another. I found people here are much more open-minded than the general population. Maybe that's why the folk on here seem to get along well.
I am in no way trying to invalidate your analysis, I just wanted to provide a possible explanation for the perceived unwillingness to change. Of course, if someone asks for advice on how to change, and then rejects every idea, it's obviously resistance to change.
--deckard