Going to see a Dermatologist

[The Seer]

So apologies in advance if this gets a little grim I just need to get all this shite off my chest.

First off, long time lurker on these forums they've been really helpful with my HA.

So as the title suggests I'm seeing a dermatologist on Friday. My GP has referred me after a bit of a weird change with a mole. Basically a couple of weeks ago I developed like a blackhead on a mole on my shoulder, I squoze it and something came out and it left and bleeding hole. The GP didn't seem too worried, just said to see her again in a couple of weeks.

So I went back and she noted that it had gotten a little lighter where it had healed and so she said that she was sending me to the dermatologist to be safe because the lack of pigmentation was abnormal though it could be explained by the healing.

So I've been digging my fingers into my armpit all day since it saw my GP and few weeks ago with a little armpit lump which she said was a calcified cyst, but what if it's not. I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this I wouldn't even be that bothered if it weren't for the little lumps I've found under my armpit all day. All I can think is that this mole is melanoma and that its advanced to my glands I feel like in losing it.

I'm sorry to come on here whinging like this I know it's probably aggravating but I'm just so ****ing tired of this. I'm just so sick of never being able to relax. I want to not care anymore more than anything I'm just so sick of my health running my life. It's exam time and I need to focus in my revision.

It's just not fair you know? I know we all have problems but I'm just sick of it. If this turns out to be nothing, which it hopefully will, I'm still going to be annoyed. Something like this could have happened anywhere on my body but it had to happen directly on a mole.

It's just so tiring as I'm sure you all know all too well. Just so mentally exhausting I just want to not care anymore, and to not to have symptoms which force me into days upon weeks of mental torture while I need to focus on my exams.

If this is melanoma and these little lumps under my arm are glands it's spread to then I'm basically ****ed, it's just not fair and I feel stupid for even being this way when Nothings been diagnosed yet. It just feels endless and I'm sick of being like this I just hate it.

[NervUs]

I can so relate! I was diagnosed with a basal cell skin cancer a couple weeks ago. On the one hand, I was relieved as my bump looked exactly like a nodular melanoma and I am very high risk and I was in such a state waiting for the biopsy. Ever since hearing BCC, though, I have slid hard into hypochondria and all the searching and self checking. I have really unclear skin (rosacea, acne history), plus a lot of sun damage. I have been crazy checking my skin, looking for BCCs on the face (that of course I believe would be disfiguring) and melanoma everywhere else. What's worse is that just now I have come to realize one of my nostrils collapses in when I breathe in. It is unrelenting. Oh, and I have armpit nodes too- although I have been able to feel them for several years but still little consolation as all I wonder is what if it's masking something bad?

you said it yourself- you haven't been diagnosed yet and this is imagination right now. You're doing all you can by going to the derm. THere is a good chance that the mole will come back totally fine. THe wait will be hard and it's best not to google. I wish you the best!

[nicole97]

I feel you. I had one mole come with with a pathology report that said "cannot rule out early/evolving melanoma-in-situ with certainty". I've been a mess since then. I check ever little thing, constantly questioning moles. Just had another mole removed on Monday and am waiting on results for that (and seriously freaking out). I would stop digging into your armpit though. You can actually cause the glands to swell a bit if you keep messing with them. Please let us know what the derm says!