I'll never be accepted

[scaredgirl86]

I think I have to accept that I will never be seen as attractive or accepted by anyone. Ive been in therapy since December and I like my therapist and a few weeks ago I thought I got further than I've been with my anxieties but then it stopped. I was really getting excited that I was getting better and going out more then it was ruined. It don't matter how I feel about myself because no one else thinks anything about me. I don't think I'm ugly and it took years after bullying to feel that I'm not ugly but no one else thinks I am. I go out and it's not made up most people look at me and have this look of disgust when they do. I don't feel there is any reason for this to happen i hate especially when it's a couple they make fun of me most. The guy looks at me like I'm ugly and his gf is better and gf looks like she thinks she's better. I feel hatred toward most people. They made me feel this way. I was doing good but it's hard to ignore when your against most people who don't like me I get one look then another how could I ever feel good about myself when all I ever known was rejection and being made fun. It's not right I should be able to go out and enjoy myself not be made fun of everytime it's not right I deserve to be accepted. I have a right to be no one understands he way I'm treated I get laughed at even when I walk with head straight feel good it don't matter it's not me it's them. I think where I live they have bad taste which is why they think I'm ugly im way better than the girls here. I hate everyone and I want to punch people in their faces. I've wasted snacks ugh time because of people and don't want to do it anymore but I don't know what to do I'll never be able to enjoy being out if I'm always being treated like this. I deserve to be respected as a human it's hard to ignore tons of stares dirty looks. What should I do

[snowghost57]

For one thing dear we have all been bullied. In my day I was "picked on" same difference. I fail to understand how you know what people are thinking by the way they look at you. Many people have other thoughts on their mind. I am single and I have been working on going out alone. Even eating at the local restaurant or McDonald's alone terrified me. I was worried what people would think or start at me. Do yourself a favor, go to some place like I mentioned and watch other people, no judgement. When I relaxed and looked around people are so involved in their circle of life that in reality no one was paying attention to me. Get help with your anger and hate issues and I doubt seriously that people are giving you "dirty looks" The mind is a powerful thing, learn to control it, and don't let it control you!

[scaredgirl86]

I might not know what they are thinking but I'm good at reading people's expressions I know it's not good it's a disgusted face or they laugh at me. People talk about when they go out they are smiled at and strangers tell them they are attractive that's not my world I know that I see the world as a negative and it's not my fault. I don't do this to myself they made me this way.

[snowghost57]

Hmmm, I've never had any stranger tell me I'm attractive. People actually laugh out loud at you? Are you absolutely sure about this? I used to be negative as well, it's our own thoughts that trap us in these unrealistic ideas. Everyone is beautiful in there own way, that is what makes us unique. I'm in Virginia, what state are you in?

[scaredgirl86]

My sister works as a hostess and she knows how bad I feel about myself she likes to rub it in my face when millions of guys ask her out and others tell her she the most gorgeous girl they ever seen. I seen it happen too they give her free stuff it's not right. It hurts to see the difference some girls are treated and the way I'm treated. I live in New York you know they are rude. All my life I've been rejected by every guy I have liked. It wasn't the fact that I was rejected that hurts it is the way they treated me they didn't just say I don't like her they went and destroyed the way I looked which wasn't bad they said I was ugly. The guy I liked more than anyone would see me everyday for years and look at me with hatred really hatred in his eyes it's broke me that someone could be that mean for no reason. They always threw their girlfriends in my face like they were better meanwhile I know they are bullies who made fun of me. I was made to feel like I was nothing and other girls are better than me. I'm still treated this way I know it sounds crazy that what I think is true but I really do get looked at it don't matter how many people is with me I'm singled out. It's sad to feel like no one will like and it hurts is that I'm better than these girls that are chosen over me but it don't matter. Should I just say they are better and not bother leaving house anymore

[snowghost57]

I have never gotten along with my sister and I know the pain you are feeling. Have you talked to a therapist in order to cope with your feelings? DO NOT stay in the house and isolate yourself! Concentrate on yourself! Do what makes you happy! I love to ride horses, my sister came to watch me at my first horse show and I placed second, who cares? I got a ribbon! She was angry and wouldn't speak to me. By the way I haven't spoken to her in 40 years, oh well, I'm happy doing what I like in life. You have to focus on yourself! You are what matters! We have to conquer our thoughts or our thoughts will rule! What choice do you have? Be miserable or be happy? The choice is up to you!

[Barry boy]

I see it like this, the way you feel about yourself inside tends to get reflected back to you by other people. I felt great yesterday and I felt warmth from everyone I met. A big mistake is to look outside yourself at other people for validation, if you don't feel good you have to do the work unfortunately.
Bloody hard work though, sometimes we just need a little bit of luck.
I'm hoping my luck continues

[Catherine S]

If you're so full of hate for other people and feel like you want to punch somebody perhaps that shows in your face. To know that they're looking at you, you must be looking at them. Maybe you're staring at them with a big scowl on your face?

I'm never aware of anybody else if i'm in a restaurant or snack bar, aside from glancing around looking for an empty table when I first walk in....entrances can be nerve wracking for some people I know, but I wouldn't know who was looking at me after I've sat down because I'm not looking at them either, but then i'm not a young person any longer, and perhaps ive forgotten how these things can seem important at your age.

We can unwittingly create situations ourselves. Perhaps you're creating yours?

ISB ☺ x

[Bee84]

No you're not displaying strong psychic powers! Most people I see are walking/travelling/eating/attending something alone just like me. When we see couples it says a lot about your own love life. It's like a test. I feel awkward, embarrassed and uncomfortable at times when I see them. So my love life is probably uncomfortable somehow.

I know you're angry but you need an appropriate outlet. It seems you're picking on these passersby's by projecting your angry feelings onto to them. Its a cowardly act of futile vengeance. Some people are miserable in their lives so do scowl at others. They may not notice or care or they might feel you scowled at them and go home feeling inferior like you do.

I think you are a wonderful Lady, a wonderful man could approach you but your anger is only pushing away and rejecting people. It does nothing else unless you use it to change and grow yourself. The circumstances and other people can never be changed by you.

Women are created equal. You are NOT in competition with other women. We need to stick together as much as we possibly can! Craving and siding with men or trying to adopt the behaviour of one never, ever works long term.

Barry boy said the truth, that other people are your mirror reflecting back to yourself (the positive and negative) to you. It really was you doing this to yourself. But no one is to blame. What is the blame? Blame is an illusion. You free yourself when you forgive others and yourself. Forgiving yourself is forgiving others and vice versa because we are all interconnected. You will find that there isn't even anything to forgive as crazy as that sounds. Anger isn't a bad or wrong emotion its just a part of the human condition. But old repressed anger and jealousy look ugly coming from people - not the actual person themselves. Forgiveness is the solution to anger and jealousy.

[Barry boy]

You free yourself when you forgive others and yourself. Forgiving yourself is forgiving others and vice versa because we are all interconnected. You will find that there isn't even anything to forgive as crazy as that sounds. Anger isn't a bad or wrong emotion its just a part of the human condition. But old repressed anger and jealousy look ugly coming from people - not the actual person themselves. Forgiveness is the solution to anger and jealousy.

Good post Bee😊
Very much agree with the last bit. It's very hard to forgive though, but holding on to anger does so much damage to ourselves.