Battling through it is making me worse?

[beadbabe]

I am getting really exasperated with this panic and anxiety thing... I am really pushing through it. Going out when I don't want to. Twice thsi weekend, once to a shopping mall and again to the French market in town. But still my symptoms remain sky high no matter how long I stay with the discomfort.

I thought this kind of exposure was supposed to work - all that is happening is that I feel more **** than ever.

Has anyone else gone through this. why won't anxiety and panic go away if you keep doing things you want to do - mine seems to be getting worse however brave I am.

[prism]

Hi Beadbabe,
your answer might be in your post.You said you didn't want to go,this can cause me allsorts of problems if i'm not ready to do something.
Maybe you need to look at it from a different point of veiw.What your doing is not a chore your doing it because you want to.If you don't want to do it then don't but if it's fear playing on your mind find a way round the fear and try to face the demon with everything in your arsenal of coping techniques. We all fight the panic but some battles can be too tough, so choose to fight the big ones on your terms
prism

[groovygranny]

Hi Beadbabe

Sorry you're having such a pants time.

You can't rush these things though. When I was at my worst I still made myself to go out just sometimes, not all the time.

I'd go shopping with my daughter and I'd follow behind her holding on to the hem of her coat - the roles were reversed....she was the mother and I was the child.

I couldn't speak coherently to anybody but her whilst I was out, and even then I didn't make sense sometimes. She was a rock for me , as were my other two.

I'd say, just take your time-- and don't feel you have to go out at every available opporunity. You'll just burn yourself out that way.

Don't set your goals to high. You need to set attainable objectives - not ones that are going to make you feel a failure if you don't get there.

Step by step, inch by inch - and you will get there.

Big for you and well done for what you have acheived so far by going out anyway.

Try to concentrate what you can do and have done not on what you feel you should do ok?

[Alabasterlyn]

Hi Beadbabe, well I'm sure a lot of us can relate to how you feel. From what I understand about pushing ourselves the idea is to stay in the situation until the fear has gone. I think the theory behind it is that once the panic goes away and you realise you are okay you will find it easier when you do it the next time. However if you always return home with sky high anxiety then all you are doing is reinforcing the feelings of panic. However I don't think seeing the panic through is easy, which is why so many people do indeed find it hard or even impossible to do that.

Perhaps you would find it easier doing things at a slower pace which would mean taking baby steps and just going out a short distance, enough to make you feel a bit of anxiety, but not enough to make you panic. The idea behind that is to gradually increase the distance and time you are out so that you become used to going out for longer and further.

[beadbabe]

thanks for the replies

I suppose what I am struggling with here is:

I really want to go shopping but know I will feel awful when out so that makes me dread it.

If I were to wait it out until the anxiety passed when I was out, I might be out overnight! I don't think it ever goes down.

If I were to wait until my anxiety level was low to go out and attempt something small, I would be waiting forever, because my anxiety seems to go sky high the minute I wake. Like something really horrible has happened it hits me out of the blue every morning

Does any of this make sense? Any ideas. I just want to hide away and get better but that isn't going to happen is it? None of this feels like me - I was always a bit of a worrier before, but this is ridiculous and out of character for me, as I have always enjoyed going out and about.

[groovygranny]

Does any of this make sense? Any ideas. I just want to hide away and get better but that isn't going to happen is it? None of this feels like me - I was always a bit of a worrier before, but this is ridiculous and out of character for me, as I have always enjoyed going out and about.

Yes, it makes perfect sense - but I don't have any answers I'm afraid, only my own experience and how I handled it - also with the help of Citalopram for a while.

I used to dread going to bed because I knew what I'd feel like in the mornings, like you I wanted to just sit in my armchair and become smaller and smaller until I disappeared altogether so I wouldn't have to face another day. And yes, it felt as if another person had 'taken over' my body.

I can only emphasise the need to take things at a pace that is not racey, and try not to dwell on what you feel you have failed at.

Do you go alone or are you with someone when you go out?

[honeybee3939]

Hi Beadbabe

I can understand exactly what you mean. My therapist was always saying "ride the anxiety out and the panic will drop" but it didnt, i could spend all day feeling terrible the anxiety wouldnt go until i stepped foot inside my home again.
The best thing that works for me now though is to try and distract myself when im feeling like this, if i think about the anxiety it only gets worse.
If you are going to the shops make a list of what you need, then while you are shopping concentrate on your list, that way you are not thinking of your anxiety. Ive acutaully been to a shopping centre today, and at one stage i started to feel the anxiety rise and started to think negative thoughts that i needed to get out and started to go dizzy, but i didnt let it win, i started to read the labels on the items in my basket and the panic passed. i felt pleased with myself that i hadnt let the anxiety win, you will get there too my friend, keep at it and it will get easier.

Hugs

Andrea
xxxx

[Alabasterlyn]

It all makes sense to me too and I can honestly say I have been exactly where you are right now and there are even times now that I still feel like that, so I really can relate.

I spent 7yrs not being able to leave my house as I was too terrified. I was so scared I didn't even want to go shopping or socialising as it was such a scary thought to even contemplate going outside. The furthest I went for that whole time was into the back garden on a good day, but good days were far and few between.

Have you been to your Dr and asked if there is anything he or she can do for you? Perhaps if they could give you something to just take the edge off the fear you might be able to find things easier.

[monty]

I agree that trying to force yourself to stay in the situation where you're panicking just seems to make things worse.

This is why I am so reluctant to try CBT again- seems to be based on the phrase 'just stick with it and it will get easier'. But like some of you have said my panic never seems to subside unless I get OUT!

I think anyone who can force themselves to stay in the place where they're panicking must be very brave and strong.

I find I have to make myself go out as much as I can, or I worry that my safety 'bubble' will just get smaller and smaller. But I don't push myself to do something really stressful everyday or I think I would just be miserable.

Really hope we all find a way out of this soon,

Lucy

[kate]

I was always told that the more often I did a certain thing and nothing unpleasent happened then the easier it would get. Well, it certainly doesn't work for me

In fact, if I have done something 20 times and nothing bad has happened, I reckon, in my mind, that by the law of averages, something bad is bound to happen on the 21st time of doing it

Kate