I'm on a rollercoaster

[groovygranny]

HI all

GG woke this morning on the up-side of a rollercoaster.

It's Wednesday and it's suddenly hit me that Friday is two days away.

I have an all-day meeting that I truly don't want to go to, and I'm thinking of ways to get out of it - but I know I can't.

My stomachs doing flip-flops, my hands are sweaty, my chest is tight, my head istingling - I haven't felt anx like this for nearly a year.

The last meeting like this I went to I had a bad cold and left barely half way through - but the cold wasn't the primary reason. No, that was the 'get-out' clause that I needed and I made full use of it.

I don't want to go down that road again as I know it acheives nothing. I have to go. I'm the IT network manager/technician for my school and there will be others from all around my area at this meeeting.

And I fear being sat there not knowing what they're all going to be talking abuot. I don't have any great formal qualifications for my job. Apart from the usual initial IT certificates I got from the local college and an online course. Most of what I know I have learned by practice, trial and error and the good instruction of a couple of my friends who also work in IT. The Head Teacher and staff at the school I work in our very happy with what I do. But, when the chips are down I'm going to have to hold my own on Friday with all the rest..and I'm dreading it.

I'm still trying to keep my sendse of humour, and I thought I was on top of this lately - it's just hit me this morning that I probably am not on top of it as much as I thought I was! GG finds it veery difficult at times to practice what she preaches!

I don't want to go, but I also don't want to 'duck out' again like last time....sort of a catch 22 situation for me at the moment!

ANyway, thanks for listening - it helps to write things down.

[syl]

Hi GG

You will be fine remember what you told me when I was scared of travelling away on my own and I did it
remember to take your little yellow bottle ( rescue remedy) with you and use it before the meeting starts
dont worry you will be fine you can do it
will be thinking of you
syl

[groovygranny]

Thanks Syl,

Yes I really will try.....

....not so good a start to the day here at the mo.

[happyone]

Something to remember GG

You are as valid and important as every other person in that room. Believe in yourself.
If they are talking about stuff you don't understand, you can bet there are others in the room who don't understand too.
Lots of people can talk a good talk, but when it comes to it, they can't 'do' what they talk about.
You are a worthy woman GG, believe it.

happyone
xx

[pips]

Hi me lovely Janner Buddy,

So sorry to hear your feeling bad hun.

I know it's hard but try to push Friday out of your mind for now. Anticapatory Anxiety is always the worst sweetheart.

I'm sure you will be fine me lovely. Deep Breaths and some

As you say the School are very happy with you and you do a JOB! and that's what counts me darlin.

Take Care,

Thinking Of You and for friday,

Sending BIG

Oh and not one bit of Pink in the Post hun! Oh that took some restraint I can tell you!LOL

Saw this to thought it might Cheer You Up

http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.p...print&sid=1083

Those were the days hey! LOL Only Joking!

Take Care,

Love Pip's X X

[EebyJeeby]

Hey GG, I know it's easy to feel less confident than others who MAY be better qualified at the job, but you can't beat experience.

I was discussing this the other day - of all the people I have employed (in an IT-related role), the best of all was a lovely bright girl who had no qualifications for the job. She was just good at it naturally and her lovely nature when dealing with people at work put the rest of us to shame!

Having been an employer in the past, I don't regard qualifications as a measure of someone's ability to do the job well.

Something I do sometimes when faced with these peer meetings is to go armed with some questions of your own. If you ever get put on the spot, you can then turn the discussion around to something YOU want to know!

It's OK not to know everything and you should really look at these meetings as a information-gathering exercise. Whoever hosts the meetings would be sad to think that people were sitting there quiet, afraid to ask, as it defeats the object somewhat!

Go easy on yourself - it will be OK!

Eeb x

[clickaway]

Hi GG!

None of us like the run up to things such as this, but I know that you know by avoiding confrontation with these events, we will never make any progress.

Focus on the fact that you are required there - you must be respected and valued (try and believe that anyway ).

I don't think your qualifications have much to do with your ability - I've long been a believer that it is attitude that gets you by in this world! And I know you have that!

I know you will do it hun, go go go!!

[groovygranny]

You lot are truly awesome you know.

Happyone: You're so sweet. I'm a WYSIWYG sort of person so I don't talk if I can't do - so I'm not going to be talking much I think!

Pips: Me 'ansome Janner Mate - thank you, that was a little light bulb in a dark day so far but I can't access the chav link because of the Porn Filter I've put on the server ! I'll look when I get home tonite.

Eeby: That was comforting, I'll try and take on board your wise words.

Ray: I will go go go - I promise I won't bale out. Thank you for your encouragement.

I'm so grateful to be in a job where I can log on here at breaktimes and lunchtimes (and in between times when nobody's looking!)

I'm feeling 'crapper' than I was as whatever could go wrong has gone wrong this morning! My fuzzy head feels as though it's somewhere else, my nerves are like exposed electric cables and I've just nearly bitten someone's head off (they needed telling but not like I just did, that's not like me to do that) and I would just love to get off this rollercoaster or for it even to slow down a bit, but I know I'm not on it alone..

....and that helps...thank you

[Piglet]

I agree with all the above replies and what about trying this little exercise from the Paul Mckenna book 'How to change your life in 7 days'.

This is the gist of it;

Instant confidence booster

Hold your head up high in a comfortable postition and imagine a golden thread running up your spine and straight up to the sky - let yourself relax, safely held by this thread.

Now remember a time when you did feel really confident and return to it in your head and remember how good it made you feel (if you can't remember one then imagine how you'd be if you were already really confident).

Notice where that feeling of confidence starts in your body and give it a colour - then move that colour up to the top of your head and down to the tip of your toes and down your arms, radiating right through the whole of your body. Double the brightness and then double it again. Till you are just filled to the brim with wonderful confident colour and just keep doing it!


Here also is a tip Pips gave me a couple of years ago that is still working well for me 24 months later.

Everytime you have a negative thought imagine a lollipop lady's stop sign in your head and immediately change your mindset to think about something different. I do this so regularly now that it has become a habit and has really lessened my negative daydreaming/ruminating.

Thanks Pips again.

You'll be great GG - this time it's not enough to just merely endure the meeting, this time have a goal to actually enjoy it too. This anxiety must not always have it's own way!!!

Love Piglet

[groovygranny]

Thanks Piglet..good stuff..

I'm going to print that out and keep it in my handbag.

School day's nearly over now, it's been pants......then just tomorrow to face....and then....

I'm sorry I'm sounding like the wettest, limpest lettuce leaf in the salad bowl....not like me at all, and I dn't like it.

But hey, I'll JFDI eh?

PS: just heard we've got a massive audit coming up at the end of the month......and guess who's responsible for the inventory?? Have the wheels on this rollercoaster just been oiled then?!!