Discussing Some Topics

[GaryP]

I don't want to start a new thread, but does anyone have any advice they can offer?

I am going back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks off and I'm really nervous. I have been sleeping all afternoon while off and I expect not to sleep great because of that. I just feel full of panic because I have to go back, and worried about A) being late B) being extremely tired & C) feeling overwhelmed by it all.
i was signed off for three months from July to October, and did a phased return. I am still hoping to take one annual leave day a week, for a few weeks to help keep me settled. Do you think this is a good idea or a bad idea?

My bosses boss is a complete fool, and I met him for the first time before the Christmas break and he made comment on me being 2 or 3 minutes late, and I wanted to laugh at him. This is making me slightly nervous about being at work because of idiots like such. I stay 5 minutes late some days and no one mentions that, and here I am trying to justify it, rather than just letting it go.

Any advice would be helpful, in order to just feel a bit more in control.

[up a ladder]

Gary. I can see why you are anxious. The fact you have slept will help slightly if you have a bad night. If like me you suffer from anticipatory anxiety, the thought of the event is nearly always, always worse than the event itself.
I am not sure about the 1 day off a week as only you will know if that works for you, I dont think it is a bad idea, but for me it would make life difficult where I could not look after the kids in school holidays.
Also remember although in your mind it is a huge factor that you are returning to work, but for others working there it is probably a less meaningfull event and it is unlkely that you will be scrutanised by others. Sorry, just re read the thread. I assumed it was the first day back after a period of sick leave.
I have really struggled this year after Christmas and am having difficulty getting back into it all. Even less likely you will be prime focus, so I doubt you will feel as self concious as you are now.
Let us know how you get on.
Keep well

[Rick(amateur)]

I don't want to start a new thread, but does anyone have any advice they can offer?

I am going back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks off and I'm really nervous. I have been sleeping all afternoon while off and I expect not to sleep great because of that. I just feel full of panic because I have to go back, and worried about A) being late B) being extremely tired & C) feeling overwhelmed by it all.
i was signed off for three months from July to October, and did a phased return. I am still hoping to take one annual leave day a week, for a few weeks to help keep me settled. Do you think this is a good idea or a bad idea?

My bosses boss is a complete fool, and I met him for the first time before the Christmas break and he made comment on me being 2 or 3 minutes late, and I wanted to laugh at him. This is making me slightly nervous about being at work because of idiots like such. I stay 5 minutes late some days and no one mentions that, and here I am trying to justify it, rather than just letting it go.

Any advice would be helpful, in order to just feel a bit more in control.

I hope you're doing alright! I'm not as active here as I used to. I can be tough to deal with these situations and it's usually best just taking it a day at a time. It much more manageable and easier to plan out.

---------- Post added at 21:38 ---------- Previous post was at 21:37 ----------

-Addiction-

When we hear the word addiction, there are a number of different scenarios that might cross our mind. One of the most obvious one seems to be a homeless person who lost everything due to his or her drug habits. Another scenario might be a person who goes to the casino often and lost most, if not all, of his or her savings believing he or she will win it all back one day. Of course, there are other addictions involving shoplifting, alcohol and numerous other things that can get us hooked.

Addiction isn't always easy to overcome and usually end poorly for the victims and their families. If an addiction gets worse enough, even society as a whole doesn't want to deal with the victim. Yet, we mustn't forget that, oftentimes, the victims were once ordinary people no different from any of us. They just made a poor judgement one day, got hooked and couldn't ever look back. For some of them, addiction was supposed to serve as an escape for the bad things happening in their life.

To make it worse, we often have what we normally perceive as good things that can also make us addicted. For instance, some pain killers and cold medicines contain components that are very addictive. We might be taking these for a good reason initially but we eventually grow reliant on them. It seems like danger is everywhere and we only need a few missteps and we can fall into the trap without an exit in sight. Meanwhile, our society promotes a certain addiction but it isn't even perceived as one by most people.

In our society, we are bombarded by ads telling us what we should buy and how we should live our lives. These ads are pushing us towards an addictive activity called shopping. It's true that a few people do go over the top when it comes to shopping but majority of the people in Canada and the USA are caught up in buying expensive things they don't need. This is getting so bad that most households accumulate debts they might never pay off. Instead of being seen as an addiction, we call it a norm nowadays.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Addiction 2-

Oftentimes, the things we are addicted to happen to be bad for us since we do such things in excess. Drugs and gambling can both be harmless if we just tried it once and say it's not for us. However, addiction makes us revisit them and, to satisfying the addiction, we do everything in our power to get a taste of it. The issue with addiction is that we need a larger exposure each time to get the same amount of satisfaction.

When I was growing up, computer games were just starting to get very popular. There were larger varieties of games and machines were getting stronger making newer and better games accessible. In a way, I was addicted to gaming because I enjoyed staying in front of the computer for numerous hours with no intention of getting off unless my parents told me so.

Now that I look back, I could see why I was addicted to games. This might not be the case for others but I liked escaping reality. I was a loner then and had very little to occupy my time. I haven't developed any hobbies and, overall, I was a shy person living a pretty recluse lifestyle. I did go to school but there was nothing waiting for me after school except for some activities my parents signed me up to.

Compared to my real life, games seemed like a portal to incredible new worlds. There was so much to explore and I found myself being a character I never can be in real life. Do I want to be the hero who saves the world? Do I want to travel to foreign lands or other planets filled with alien lifeforms? These were all made possible by the games I played and they drew me in like nothing else.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Addiction 3-

For me, the addiction to games served as an escape from all the bad things in life. I don't have to worry about my problems because I'm too busy playing as the protagonist in a game. I feel like my actions actually mattered and people actually cared about me. There are just so many benefits of being a hero and that just wouldn't be possible for me in real life.

In life, a lot of things won't go according to plan. We can have big dreams about what we can become but all that can be out of reach in an instant. Maybe we weren't accepted to our dream school. Maybe the person we wanted to date rejected us. Maybe some accident stopped us from reaching a goal we worked so hard for. With the unpredictability, we need something that's more certain in life.

Addictions bring us that sort of certainty since, after a taste of it, we feel good about ourselves. Regardless of what activity we are addicted to, they all share a similar trait where they hijack our reward system. When we feel good, we revisit it to get more of it. The problem lies in that, after each taste, we need a larger exposure to get the same good feeling as the first time we tried it.

A good feeling is incredible when we are faced with numerous challenges and negative emotions. None of us want to be sad or negative all the time and our instincts, knowing that such feelings aren't healthy for us, search for quick and easy ways to address the issue. When we try addictive activities or things, our brains tell us that this is the solution we need to keep our troubles at bay and we believe it.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Addiction 4-

In a way, addiction appears like the easy way out of our problems. It helps distract us from our problems, even temporarily, so we can enjoy life for the brief moments the addiction provides us. We keep returning to the addiction when our life doesn't change and it appears like the only upside in our lives. Soon, we find ourselves in a downward spiral where we seek the addiction to fight problems addiction is causing us.

For most people with addictions, they understand that the addiction is bad for them. However, addiction don't simply go away. We have enough trouble getting rid of the bad habits in our lives and addictions are often several times worse. To make matters worse, addictions create additional problems that make it even more difficult to combat it effectively to eventually overcome it.

For many people dealing with addiction directly, they find themselves walking a lonely road. They are seen as hopeless people best forgotten by everyone including their family members. When these people lose the support of their loved ones, they turn to their addiction to fight the pain of being abandoned. At that point, it's an uphill climb from the bottom of the highest peak and odds are definitely against the person.

There's also a mentality our society supports which makes overcoming addiction even tougher. We don't like admitting that we are failures and addiction is often equated with failure. So many people could've sought out help early on and put an end to their addiction before it gets too serious. However, they don't do so because their image matters far more than their health and future.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Addiction 5-

In our society, I believe we need to provide more support to those with addictions. We must remember that, prior to the addiction, these are ordinary people no different from the rest of us. We shouldn't write them off when they made a terrible mistake in life. After all, we all want to have a second chance when we make a mistake in our lives so we shouldn't deny those with addiction a second chance either.

There are so many people who have negative attitudes those those with addictions. They seem to think that, as soon as a person has addiction, then there's practically no chance of recovery of those people. It's always sad to see people who have great potential but lack the support to overcome one of the hardest battles in life. Addiction is so powerful and most people simply cannot overcome it without any sort of support.

While support from loved ones is best, even support from complete strangers can make a huge difference. We have all been through those long days when we have no hope for the future. Days without hope is such a terrible experience and we won't even wish it on our worst enemies. Yet, most addicts are facing those days every single day because we have given up on them and regard them as nobodies.

We don't necessarily have to invest all our time and effort to support complete strangers who are fighting addiction. We just have to remember that, when we encounter these people, we should show them some respect or even some kindness. These small acts can change lives because we can light up their dark world, no matter how briefly, so they can see the path they must take to get through one of their biggest challenges in life.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Trust-

In our society, we generally don't trust complete strangers. Oftentimes, we have been cheated and lied to so often that we don't know who we can trust. As trust break down, we wonder how dark the future can be as we find ourselves alone. We are unwilling to share our troubles and thoughts with others if we couldn't even trust them to not share with others. In the age of social media, our secrets are even more likely to be shared by everyone.

With our lack of trust in so many people, even relationships become more complicated. Relationships were complicated to begin with since we have two people with different values and viewpoints interact with one another. Meaningful relationships require trust as one of the pillars or misunderstanding and rumors will destroy the relationship before it can even form between two people.

Forming trust with other people is further complicated with our digital age where we interact with people we don't even meet face to face. We might join forums or other online spaces where we meet new people. The fact that we are nothing more than a username on the site results in us more willing to share our secrets with strangers because we believe that it's safer sharing personal situations anonymously.

When I was ashamed of my problems, I tried to reach out to my parents. Sadly, they didn't take me seriously and told me to simply "man up." As a result, I feel far more comfortable sharing my stories and struggles with complete strangers online. While the internet seems to provide me safety from criticism and judgement, I was also distancing myself from people in real life as I cannot trust them with my inner secrets.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Trust 2-

A reason for our lack of trust in others is likely due to what we experience in life. For example, our news reports are largely negative since those sort of news tend to capture our attention. However, these sort of exposure does emphasize the ugly side of humanity so, while society as a whole is more good than evil, we are in a way programmed to think that bad things will happen more often than they normally do.

For example, we might hear a lot of updates on a school shooting. We keep getting these horrific images described to us and many of us noticed that these images don't go away very easily. They usually stick around and serve as fuel for our imagination. Many of us have wild imagination so, with sufficient fuel, we'll start imagining certain scenarios that might happen in our own neighborhood.

The worst case scenario takes place when some sort of crime happens near or in our neighborhood. Suddenly, we look out our windows quite often to get a glimpse of anyone suspicious. When we walk the streets, we'll be even more hesitant to approach strangers and, if we don't like the situation, we might even take flight hoping to be rather safe than sorry.

While the news can provide important information from time to time, we must realize that too much exposure will make us into very negative people. The negativity will deteriorate our trust in strangers who have done nothing wrong other than being simply a stranger. While I don't promote interacting with complete strangers, I think that we shouldn't be too fearful when we are in public all the time.

[Rick(amateur)]

-Trust 3-

One of the biggest reasons why we don't trust others is the fact that someone in our lives betrayed our trust and we cannot convince ourselves that we can trust again. That someone is usually someone we care or love about so, the moment we discovered the person betrayed our trust, we lose faith in everyone else as we cannot even trust those we thought was reliable.

We might have some secrets we entrust with our best friends. We consider these people as our best friends because we believe they are different from everyone else we encounter in life. If we learned about one of our best friends sharing our secrets with others and, as a result, caused us embarrassment at school, we refuse to share with anyone and we bottle everything, whether good or bad, within us.

Since that day, we refuse to open up again. How do we know the next person we meet won't do the same and share our inner secrets with others? How do we know other people aren't worse given the sort of world we see on the news? Because one single person betrayed our trust, we can no longer trust anyone and many people are harmed in the process. The biggest victim in this mess is us.

Without trust, we walk a lonely path with a lot of negativity bottling within us. The pain becomes unbearable but we refuse to believe that there's even a remote chance of someone out there who can help carry the burden for us. Either the demons from within overwhelm us and push us over the edge or we carry on with the pain and suffering until we reach the end of our path. Neither options seems too alluring for anyone.