Overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts

[maianixon]

So I just wanted to share this thing i noticed my anxiety does.

Everytime I feel very anxious I try to stop myself from functioning normally and doing every day things. It's like i want to do them and I know I am capable of them but there is a voice in my head that's saying "you shouldn't go out and enjoy yourself because something's wrong with you / you shouldn't be happy with your boyfriend because you're just lying to self and really you're dying / you shouldn't pretend you're fine because you're not" and this stops me from doing most basic things and avoiding things that would otherwise make me happy like my relationship. This self-sabotage is very clear to me but I don't know how to fight it.

Earlier today that was the case and I actively fought against it - I wen't outside and read a book even though this voice in my head was telling me I shouldn't. Despite being proud of myself that I did it regardless, my body was because of it overwhelmed by anxiety even more - my vision went horrible, my whole body was shaking while I was reading a book in a park just because my anxiety told me I shouldn't do it. I am now home and still shaking half an hour later it's like my entire body is overwhelmed with the fact that I went outside and refused to give into anxiety - so I am as a result even more anxious.I feel as if my anxiety is punishing me for not listening to it. (I feel like im sounding very crazy rn but im trying to explain it the best way i can)

I'm writing this mainly with the purpose of letting it out, but I'm also wondering if anyone experiences anything similar and how they cope with it? It may be a very common anxiety thing for all I know but I've never spoken to anyone about it.

[snowghost57]

This is what my therapist tells me to do when I have intrusive thoughts.

You can write this down, I did at first, however now I can recite it in my head if the mind monster tries to get ugly with me.

What is the situation? Just the facts. No what you think or feel. Just facts.

What is your self talk? What you think or believe?

Feelings-How to you feel as a result of your thoughts?

Dispute your thoughts or beliefs.

What is unrealistic in your thinking? What are the shoulds and musts.

Now ask yourself is there anything you can do to change the situation?

Your body is shaking from the overflow of adrenaline in your blood stream. Your fearful thoughts are making you body react with the "fight or flight" response.

Go for a walk and breathe! Work on this every day, hour or minute if you have to. You can overcome anxiety, I know, because I did.