Grr Had A Relapse Of Depression!!

[samtheman]

I had been doing so well, no anxiety, everything was looking good, thought I was back on track. Yesterday it hit me full smack depression, Its really really odd, the last bout was Xmas, I mean one of the most happiest times of the year, then yesterday at my childs christening, any happy event sets of my bloody depression or so it seems.

I mean I was sitting yesterday, everyone was having a good time laughing and joking and it just came on me all of a sudden, I was sitting smilling but behine the smile all I felt was a deep sadness, infact I felt like I was going to cry for no reason at all, I mean I have no reason for this depression.

Today still no better still feel a deep sadness.

I've been looking for a trigger and I may have found it, At xmas its always a disaster, its never the way you plan it, it always turns out a big alround disapointment, and yesterday the party after the christening was a disaster, the food burnt, the families all segregated, I was left like Johnny no mates.

It seem to me my expectations are to high, and when things don't go the way I plan it fires of my depression.

Any advice?

[Insomniac]

Hi there sam,

I know what you mean. I have suffered depression for over 10 years and sometimes it really does sneak up on you. I think that "happy times" can draw more attention to how you feel inside when you see all that happiness going on. It can make you feel more alone, and very low.

Of course keeping it inside is not good for you. And keeping the smile on is harder and can wear you down even more. But at the same time I've always talked of wearing a mask (of happiness), and carrying on as much as possible. You don't want other people feeling sad, especially at times of celebration. Also you need to keep yourself going.

Advice... hmmm I wish I knew!

My best advice is to get outside whenever you can. When I feel like crawling back into bed and staying there, I try to go out in the garden even if I set a target of a few minutes I usually stay longer and feel better for it than I would if I went to bed. Or I do something I enjoy like listening to music or reading a book to distract me.

and recognise your achievements! I'm always saying this. Its the thing which helps me most. What other people would not think was anything big, may be a huge achievement for you. Even if its getting out of bed in the morning. Or going to work (which can be hard even though I love my job). Or tidying up a bit. Aim to write 2 or 3 down each day, no matter how small they are still achievements. And for someone with depression they can be big steps which all help pave the road to recovery. Hope this helps.

[woofybaby]

I know the feeling! I thought I was doing really well, then suddenly on Sunday, was sitting watching a film and then bamm it started again - the irrational thoughts, the anxiety followed by a deep sense of emptiness and that "can't be bothered" feeling - when I want to be close and comforted by someone, yet want to be alone at the same time.

There doesn't seem to be any reason behind it i'm desperately trying to stay off anti-depressants as we're trying for a baby but I'm not sure that I can combat this without them.