I am so fed up with yhe continue fight to pretend to be normal. The anxiety and panic is wearing me out and i feel i will never be free of it. Just been to dr to pick up prescription and felt so panicky, just approaching that place makes me feel sick. I dont feel they are on my side, im still embarresed to tell them exactly how anxious i feel. My doc has upped my dose of thyroxine after 10 years and i am so scared i will go overactive with my thyroid, which will make my anxiety a hundred times worse. I am already feeling more shaky and nervy after two weeks of higher dose, not sure if its in my head or not.
Also bp is sky high, but no blood pressure med suits me.
Apart from my husband and mum and dad no one else has any idea how i feel. I feel friends and family would judge me to much. So i just keep up this struggle that i am just as calm and confident as they are. I have all these school functions coming up as my son is starting secondary school soon and i know there is no way on earth i can deal with them. But i have to for him.
I will have to go to doc and see if she can give me something to get me through them but i feel i am just going over old ground again.
Life is so hard anyway, let alone having to deal with this fear as well. I am 38 and wasted so much of my life already. Dont want to be me anymore.
Thanks for listening,
Josephinex