I had the worst panic attack in my life last night. Normally I just have the tension and the feelings of doom but it escalated into a full blown panic attack, and all the old fears came flooding back and they brought along some of their friends as well
Even now I feel shattered by the experience, which is due to the panic and the lack of sleep.
I know this is all in my mind and I know that I cant be hurt by an attack and I wont die, yet if you had asked me that last night I would have said "ahhhhhhhhh I am going to die"
There where times during the attack when I could seperate myself from the attack..sounds strange but what I mean is, Part of me could see the logical side ("Hey dont worry you have been here before and you will be ok")
The other panic side of me was running around like a headless chickin with a paper bag in one hand and a phone in the other
There is a great passage in the Bible about st peter leaving the boat and walking on the water and for a moment or two he manages to walk on the water but suddenly fear grips him and he starts to sink and Jesus reaches out and supports him back to the boat. The one thing that changed was peter became fearful. Nothing else changed.
What I draw from this in relation to my own panic is that, nothing around me changes. I could be watching a good movie and wham panic-I could be out walking and wham panic....Our situation has not changed but our mind has invited fear in. (does this make sense?)
How many of us are able to look back with a rational mind after the attacks and pick out the positive or even confront the negative points..Its just something I have been trying to do over the last couple of weeks and maybe some of you are doing this just now. If so what does work for you.
I wish everyone the best of health and never give up hope because one day we will all move forward step by step