Need some advice, life should not be like this.

[Missjensen]

Hello everyone I’m new to this forum.

Quick info about me.

Female 26 year and suffered from mental illness since age 6.

I’m beginning to think that life will not get any better, I felt anxious since always, and even though my fears have changed over the years the feeling are the same awful feeling.

I’m in therapy at the moment, and it just seems to go nowhere, when I’m at my lowest therapy can help me back to a functional stage, but then the progress stops.

I asked my therapist if I could maybe have another diagnosis than “just” anxiety, that would cause my life to be so difficult. He said even if I had a diagnosis my problems would still be the same and I would not need a different treatment.

The past years I’ve had a bad health anxiety, Before that GAD, on top of that I have some very challenging phobias (claustrophobic, transport etc ) I also feel like my brain is really stressed all the time and I find it difficult to focus on simple tasks. I’m having problems with “bad” thoughts and think once I had them they might come true, once at a train station I thought randomly about jumping out in front of a train (I would never do that ) and afterwards I’ve been afraid to stand to close to the tracks because I might impulse jump. These thoughts are the same if i thinking about sickness or my family being hurt.

I have periods with overwhelming sadness where I’m feeling depressed and just stay crying in bed all day, my brain tells me nobody loves me and I should just disappear, it tells me my family is fed up with me being so difficult all the time and that I mess up there lives.

Sometimes I get a window of time where I feel fantastic, I’m so energetic, happy and productive, my anxiety disappear and everything is good, it can be for one hour or one week, but when it all comes crashing again I feel horrible, I feel like everything was just perfect and now I’m back in hell.

Nothing ever changes, what can I do now ?? Therapy going nowhere ! And I don’t think I can live with this forever.. I don’t get any medicine, my therapist don’t really think I would help me much.. should a seek a diagnosis or is it just the same ?? I have a fantasy that everything would be easier with a diagnosis and I know that is totally BS !!

Any advice!

Lots of hugs to all.

---------- Post added at 02:04 ---------- Previous post was at 01:50 ----------

I’m very open to non traditional treatment, I already get some healing massage when I can afford it!

[Missjensen]

Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it.


My Family is really loving and we are all real colse. I never had contact with my dad, my mom left him before discovering her pregnancy and he died when he was 29. my mom had a depression when I was around 10, but I already had anxiety before that, She was very quick to get help and came around pretty fast. I don’t have any siblings.

Did you ever have any bad experiences in school?

Yes I was bullied mainly in the small classes.

Was there a time where you ever felt abandoned?

Once when my grandparents was taking care of me while my mom had a night out. my grandparents had been taking care of me loads of time before without any problems, and I really loved to stay there. But this day I went with them to a garden party, I felt asleep and once I woke up all the adults where drunk. My mom would never drink alcohol and I had never been around drunk adults before, so this was quite A shok for me I felt extremely anxious and felt like nobody was themselves. I remember trying to call me mom a hundred times (before the mobile phone ) when I finally got a hold of her, she rushed over and was furious with her parents.

I sadly have mental illness on both sides of my family, my grandmas untreated anxiety caused her to become an alcoholic and die from liver failure, my dad was in a mental hospital before dying...

So even though my family is close, loving, high educated people I feel like my future is doomed.