WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF

http://www.marcandangel.com/2016/06/...-cant-control/

The Mind… The Battleground
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the mind is our biggest battleground. It’s the place where the strongest conflict resides. It’s where half of the things we thought were going to happen, never did happen. It’s where our expectations always get the best of us. It’s where we fall victim to our cravings to control the uncontrollable.

And if we allow these thoughts and cravings to dwell in our minds, they will succeed in robbing us of peace, joy, and ultimately our lives. We will think ourselves into deep heartache and even depression.

Truthfully, there’s so much about life that we can’t control, it makes no sense to waste all our energy on these things and then blatantly neglect everything we CAN control.

We can decide how we spend our time right now, whom we socialize with – whom we share our lives with. We can choose to love and appreciate the people in our lives for exactly who they are. We can choose how we’re going to respond to life’s surprises and disappointments when they arise, and whether we will see them as curses or opportunities for personal growth.

And most importantly, we can choose to adjust our attitudes and let go of all our worries about everything we can’t control, which in turn frees us up to take the next best step forward in our lives.

Quotes to Stop Worrying About the Uncontrollable
Like you, I still struggle with letting go of control sometimes. So I’ve implemented a simple strategy for helping myself with this predicament. In a nutshell, I proactively remind myself NOT to worry about things I can’t control. Anytime I catch myself doing so, I pause and read the following seven quotes (taken from our book and blog archive) to myself. Then I take some deep breaths, and reassess the situation with a more mindful presence…

You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you CAN control the way you respond. And in your response is your greatest power. Yes, most of your stress comes directly from the way you think and respond, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude, and all that extra stress is gone.
Don’t bother worrying about whether there will be problems. There will be plenty of them, and you’ll work your way through every one of them.
If you worry too much about what might be, and wonder too long about what might have been, you will ignore and completely miss what is. Realize that worrying is a misuse of your incredible creative energy. Instead of imagining the worst, imagine the best and how you can bring it about. (Angel and I show how in the “Happiness” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
Today is a choice. Today, choose grace over impatience, beauty over negativity, and presence over panic.
There is absolutely nothing about your present situation – even the aspects you can’t control – that prevents you from making progress, step by step.
You are alive and breathing, so act like it. Let go of what’s wrong and grab a hold of what’s right. Make things happen, and then let things happen. Learn, accept, explore, create and experience, every single day, one tiny step at a time. (Angel and I build tiny, life-changing daily rituals with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)
Keep being mindful. Keep breathing deeply. Things ultimately turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.