Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[Carnation]

Pulisa, you made me laugh. x

[Carnation]

I am going to dedicate this post to the very brave and skilled people that rescued those boys and the coach from the Thai cave. This is humanity at it's best and I am not too proud to say I shed a tear or two when the first boys came out.
It's a miracle they were found, a miracle the boys were still alive and a miracle they were saved.
I followed the news intently and with pride for how no-one gave up.
That's exactly how you have to treat anxiety.
It's a challenge and in return, you have life.
And importantly, no matter what difficulties you come across, there are people around to support and help you.

Until next time....

[pulisa]

I can't begin to imagine how terrifying that ordeal must have been for those boys. I wouldn't have coped. Also the British diver who tragically died when trying to rescue them-true heroism but that won't be any consolation for his family and friends.

I'm sure the boys will have some degree of PTSD after that dreadful experience but they will be expertly monitored and cared for in the days and weeks ahead. An incredible rescue and proof that miracles can happen..

[Carnation]

I thought it was a Thai Navy Seal that unfortunately died while he was setting up oxygen for the boys?
Whatever race or rank, he was a hero.

So today I have been punished with nearly 5 hours of tennis and now football.
I'm not one to sit for that long, so did a mound of laundry and housework. Got to get it done before the next heatwave due at the weekend.
Yesterday I had what I call a wobbly head.
It's where you move and your head wants to stay or the head moves and the body stays.
It feels like they are not in sync with each other, just like my brain and mouth.
It's an exaggeration of what I feel. No-one has actually said to me, "excuse me, you have left your head behind?"
Anyway, that's how I felt, where today I have a vibrating foot that feels like I've left it on top of a washing machine during a spin cycle.
In both situations, it's an uncomfortable feeling, but harmless and temporary.
Anxiety likes to remind you that it's there, that's all.

I had an uncomfortable sleep last night for two reasons.
I was actually cold. I stripped the bed of it's duvet during the hot weather and just had a sheet and cover and the 10c drop had us shivering by 3am.
The second reason were my thoughts.
Don't know why, but started thinking about my mum and dad who both passed away in the last 4 years.
The more I fought it, the worse it got and their faces would not go away when I closed my eyes.
I'm so stupid, because fighting or rejecting when this happens, is the worse thing you can do.
Sometimes I forget my own advice.

On a good note, my hand is improving.
Left hand has learned to do stuff, which is an added bonus. 6-8 weeks before back to normal, so let's hope August is warm so I can build a sandcastle.

Until next time.....

[Carnation]

I may have mentioned this before, but did you know that your brain knows what you are going to do before you physically do it?
Maybe that's why we can multitask or the reason we have anxiety.
It's mainly the thoughts or the lead up to something that causes us the most anxiety.
I have never understood why I am so calm when something happens suddenly and unexpected and I deal with it with no anxiety.
But if I know I have an appointment, a visitor, a phone call, a day out or occasion, a doctor's appointment, then my mind goes in to overdrive and vamps up the anxiety.
Anxiety can even spill into normal daily tasks like cooking the dinner, going shopping, running out of something, going outside; even the weather being too hot or too cold.
That's because we are born survivors and do our utmost to stay alive and out of danger.
This is where OCD can be born. Constantly checking safety measures, like the doors and switches and where safety in certain numbers, colours, rituals and so on.
And, if that's not enough, we fear for our family members, if they are dependent on us due to a disability or age. Not only do we worry about ourselves, we worry about others as well. And then we worry about our mortality for the sake of others.
This is why you will here the words; 'Live in the Present'.
If you have had a therapist or read in a magazine telling you to do stuff like drawing a picture, playing a game, riding a bike, baking a cake, gardening?
It's not about what thing you do, it's about putting your mind in to something that keeps you in the moment and keeps you off obsessive thoughts.
I know, you've heard it all before and it's not as easy at that anyway.
But, if you can manage an hour, a day or even a week of giving your brain a rest, it is surely going to benefit your brain and your health.
Have you tried saying to Anxiety, "Sorry, No! I'm having a bit of time to myself or this 'My' day today"?
Try making a point of setting aside something for you which you enjoy or would like to do.
I read something the other day and it clearly said that we spend so much time worrying about what is going to happen, that we actually miss living our life!
Not only that. We might obsess about things that will never even happen anyway.
The future can change, situations change. We don't have crystal balls to see in to the future and the future is the unknown, so what we do is try to predict what is going to happen.
Less thinking and more doing!!!

Until next time............

[Carnation]

I had no idea a tennis match could last for 5 hours or more. I really am all tennised out! Still, it's good for keeping your mind off of anxiety. Whatever will I do after the weekend? I know. Go out!
I have been managing to get out every day, even if it's only to get food and water the plants.
My social diary seems to have come to a halt, but I am quite pleased about that.
I still seem to be talking gobbledegook at times.
Take this morning.
I saw two magpies in the garden and I said to my partner, "look, there's two magpoys".
I was thinking of that saying, 'One for sorrow, two for joy' and that's why my pie came out as poy.
It goes to show how I clog up my brain with too much information at once.
At least I had a sign of happiness and not grief.
I am a bit superstitious.
We just had a Friday 13th and that always petrifies me.
I don't like shoes on the table, breaking a mirror, spilling salt, walking under ladders, picking up a glove, changing clothes that are inside out, looking at the moon and seeing one magpie.
But strangely I don't mind the number 13 as long as it isn't on a Friday.
Most of my superstitions have come from my childhood and what my mum drove in to me.
I thought that my mum obviously was wiser and I should take note. Funny how it sticks.
I often wonder whether a lot of my fears today stem from my childhood. My therapist thought so too. But is that an easy copout to say that?
I know I was left alone a lot and was scared I had been deserted. Now I am monophobic, (fear of being alone).
Again, I seemed to be ok once past my teen years and then boom!!!! Later in life, my fears returned.
Also, the dark, the storms, big open spaces, crowds,to name a few.
I was a shy introvert child that found it difficult to speak in public, then I sort of grew out of it and now I feel those child sensitivities have returned.
I used to keep a diary that contained all my deep emotions, worries and sadness and now I find myself doing the same on here.
Is it possible that we revert to child like emotions as we get older, even though we deal with very adult responsibilities?
Anyway, enough of the heavy emotional stuff.
It's going to be a very hot day tomorrow and the best thing we can do is to keep cool.

Until next time....

[Carnation]

Now, this might not be a new thing to some, but I have just found out that wearing amber can reduce anxiety and even pain. Of course, it's used for babies teething, so why haven't I thought of this before.
So, I'm giving it a go and will report back on the results.
While on the subject of what can reduce anxiety. Quartz is another stone and I am pretty certain that are many others. But I recently heard of a lady that broke her amber necklace and her anxiety rocketed until it was fixed. It could be psychological of course, but you know me, I'll give most things a try.

I met a lady today when visiting my partners mum.
She lives in one of the flats adjacent to the care home.
Well, she asked me to have a look at her flat. Heh, panic stations set in. Unfamiliar ground. But I did and she showed me around. I commented how pleasant, but small it was and then she intervened and told me how lonely she was and almost begged me to visit her to which I replied that I would. I asked her about her family and both the son and daughter live too far away.
So, my brain ticking away, how has this lady got to this state with a son and daughter in tow? She can barely walk, she is undoubtedly lonely and needs help.
It's beyond me. She might as well have no children considering the state she is in and she doesn't want to bother them. The thought had crossed my mind that there may be a family feud , but feud or no feud, and I had my fair share with my dad, you can't just ignore something like this.
I don't mind visiting this lady, but I don't want to get too involved and she is unaware of my demons and Like I've said before, anxiety is not visible, but I do feel it is her families responsibility. I might even get stuck in a situation of poking my nose in. What a mess! Poor lady.

So another hot day and sticky night. Do you think we might keep stum when we wish summer to be here?
The heat takes more coping strategies. Keep cool, don't rush and drink plenty of fluids. That's water, not alcohol.

Until next time.....

[Buster70]

Hi , just thought I'd surface briefly to show I'm still alive and you are not just taking the first step towards madness ( talking to yourself ) .
Had a similar situation on Friday to your encounter with the lonely lady , I had a call to go clear some old bikes from a lady who's husband had passed away , took my grandson as daughter still wasn't too good , I asked about her husband and she said he only died in may the started crying , I tried to comfort her a bit but it's hard to know what to do when you don't know them , she apologised which she didn't need to and we had a good chat about him , it turned out he grew up in my town ( I don't own a town ) , her grown up kids live in Australia so now they gone back home she had time to think about losing him and being alone , I think she enjoyed the company for a while , grandson helped me load up and was joy to be around , he's into football so I took him to the Derby ground on the way home but he fell asleep just as we got there .
Yesterday was early flea market day on the way ( rushing to get there at 5.30 ) I saw what looked like clothes on the pavement , it was actually a young man flat out , other cars were just driving past , I pulled up and woke up a young lad probably a student, he'd been sick and obviously fallen where he lay , he was drunk asa skunk and said I'm still not over England losing ( as good a reason as any for getting smashed ) I made sure he was ok and set him on his way .
My anxiety is up and down like a yoyo with no rhyme or reason lots of stress little sleep and boiling weather are probably not helping , but I'm still plodding on regardless.
My mishap for the week apart from hitting my already black thumb nail with a hammer was my angle grinder blowing up and nearly electrocuting me , big flash sparks smoke and me shouting f**k , this didn't worry me in the slightest but a walk though town in the heat freaked me out , it makes no bloody sense.
My top tip for today , as anxiety seems to destroy your memory if you are about to eat a sneaky chocolate biscuit and the phone rings don't pop it in your shorts pocket, you will forget and a while later it will look like you've done a dirty protest ,I speak from experience
Ta ta .

[Carnation]

Pleased to hear you are still plodding on Buster and making a funny along the way.
Your daughter will no doubt take time to get over her shock. A hard way to learn a lesson.
Buster you should know that chocolate will last about 1 second in this heat. Even ice-cream is like race to finish before it drips down your hand, runs down your arm and leaves sticky streaks that you try to get off with bits of paper you find in your pockets.
Keep cool friend

[Carnation]

Not a good night for me last night. :(
After realising I had been under attack in the way of bites/stings, all 6 of them, on the shoulder, which meant a totally sleepless night. With the throbbing and the stinging, I was awake until 4am and when I dropped off, which was from pure exhaustion from tossing and turning trying to get comfortable without laying on my bites. Coupled with the heat, I felt like grabbing the pillow and shredding it to bits!
Woke up exhausted with bites still prominently there in there glorious redness, I then found I couldn't wear any top because the contact on the bites was so unbearable.
So, had to stay in all day.
I'm a bad patient. I've been grumpy all day and not even a glimmer of the bites/stings, whatever they are, becoming less itchy and sore.
Partner never gets attacked like me. He moans about a pinhead bite when I react so badly and seem to collect them in their droves.
What with that and hunting down 4 mossies in the bedroom last night and nearly doing myself an injury when balancing on the bed to catch them, I really am feeling sorry for myself.
But I am wearing my amber necklace.

Until next time......