Pulse checking - spiraling

[braveinfiction]

I'm really in a bad place tonight, crying uncontrollably. It started really earlier today when I checked my pulse upon waking and noticed it was off, off, hard to describe how. Later on, I had a few slices of pizza and sat down. Got the urge to check my oximeter and saw my resting pulse was around 84-90 which was causing me panic because it's usually in the mid-60s on my B/p medication. Assumed it was because of the pizza and tried to stay calm.

Anyway, this led to my pulse checking again and once again I noticed my strange pulse; all I want is to feel the comfort of that typical boom pause boom, but instead, I'm getting a very inconsistent pulse beat and it's hard to describe, sometimes it seems like it's going to be normal, then it's beating really fast, irregularly, or fluttery.

I actually am not feeling this in my chest like I have skipped beats in the past, it's just the pulse at my wrist, but it's driving me nuts. I've been to the ER so much that I hate the thought of going. I hate the thought of being stuck to those machines again, hours of stress for nothing...or worse, to finally be told there is something bad wrong with me. I'm so sick of this cycle. Please give me advice.

[braveinfiction]

Can anyone at all relate to this?

[emmiloja]

Hi OP,

I can relate to this. Too well, in fact. First, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I know how debilitating it is to be so aware of and focused on your pulse rate. I’ve too been to the ER more times than I can count, to where they knew me by name and started to take my concerns less seriously... humiliating.

For me, I check it regularly for reassurance which doesn’t always come. When I’m feeling anxious, I check it to make sure it’s what I consider normal. I don’t know what normal for me is because I don’t have a pulse reader or a blood pressure checker (I don’t know their actual medical names ).

Do you have someone close to you that you can talk to? If not, a previous therapist of mine suggested holding an ice cube in your hand. This helped me twofold: first, it was keeping my hand away from checking my pulse and second, it was a huge distraction with the intense cold sensation activating the pain receptors in my body and that helped to override the anxiety and pulse issues. Sorry for such a run-on sentence there.

I hope you’re able to find some relief. But, I’m sure you’re generally okay. I know anxiety makes us feel like we’re constantly “not okay,” but anxiety will make your heart do some crazy things.

Sending love, light, and positivity to you ♥️


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[Iwant2bhealthy]

Hi,
I can relate to that very much. Checking my pulse was my way of seeking reassurance. Needless to say, in most cases I was not reassured. Checking my pulse, and noticing something was off, made my heart beat faster, the faster heart rate was at that time a proof that something is off with my heart so I felt the urge to check it more. I was caught in a vicious circle, and in most cases, this resulted in a full blown panic attack.

First thing my theraphist told me to do was to STOP CHECKING. She explained me that this a "safety behaviour", and that it's harmful.

I think your heart is ok. You had it checked multiple times, and each time the doctors said that there is nothing sinister going on.
Do you see a theraphist? Did you try to get any help for your health anxiety? If not I would strongly recommend you to do so. Seeking help helped me to vreak the circle and saved me from my anxiety. :-)

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[sam93]

Yes! I can definitely relate to this. I even went to the doctors and had an ECG, and a lot of blood work done to check for heart function. All came back fine. It's definitely down to anxiety, and causes a vicious circle!

[Ethansmom]

I hate the fact that I check mine too. I’ve had a few flutters today, but have had a stressful day so I’m hoping my heart will calm down. I do know that are hearts don’t always beat perfectly and that adrenaline can cause it to have a few unimportant blips! Hang in there! We are her for you .