hey guys

after my colposcopy test which came back abnormal and having surgery this week (but have been reassured its a precaution and I prob will never have a problem again - touch wood!). Last week I gradually fell into the depths of panic and anxiety about it.. thinking I was at deaths door blah blah blah! I had 2 trips to A&E for lower stomach pain (all in my head i think!) the second one of which was a nightmare! The dr said he felt a lump in my groin and that i needed an op that night- imagine the panic! I was crying almost hysterical was horrible.. anyway.. I got seen by 2 other drs who then couldn't find anything! and i was discharged! i went home to my parents (my mother is a dr - anaesthetist). She reckons the first dr felt my lymph nodes (apparently i always had them). I had a few more days of panic and anxiety (not eating and not being able to move) and now i feel fine - i had an ultrasound scan yesterday (just to make sure the drs said) and i feel fine- i even swam a mile yesterday!

It does not cease to amaze me how powerful the mind is.. yes, i'm still worried about my op on friday.. but at least i'm not wailing and sobbing and saying i can't move because I "have no energy"...