My story, for what its worth

[Jonboy12]

The feeling is indescribable. This was the 2nd time I have been like this in my life. The first time being about 12 years earlier. Living with a terminal illness must be horrific and to try and compare it with my problem is totally unfair. But in my mind I had a terminal illness and lived with it for months.
I have never liked going to Doctors or dentists etc, not because of any bad experiences but because I just didn’t like it. So when I went for a regular hair cut 4 months ago a trip to the doctors wasn’t even on my mind. I came home washed my hair and then noticed in the mirror a light brown mark on the side of my head.
Only small tan coloured mark that I noticed for the first time after42 years of living. I didn’t think too much about it but occasionally tried to view it in the mirror, which wasn’t easy as it was on the side of my head, just above my ear.
Another month past and another haircut. This time the mark was noticeably bigger. About 10mm long and 6 mm wide, no Sharpe edges, and slightly raised.
Dr Google needed a visit. The news from Dr Google wasn’t good and melanoma was suspected. Panic took hold and too scared to go to the real doctors for the confirmation.
Days and weeks pasted and I was looking everywhere for something else this could be. No images online matched mine and it kept throwing back to the big C…. Everywhere I looked it hit me.
Life has a funny way of almost jibbing you. I am a business man and a family man and people and friends probably thought me to be a little grumpy, but I hid my problem deep inside and carried on, only panicking alone or at night waiting for something, I don’t even know what.
Turn the radio on, I heard adverts for” book your own funeral”, “cancer support” etc, Turn on the TV more cancer adverts, I even had 3 emails enquiring about business that popped up “Name” “Skin Cancer research specialist” as the person enquiring about my business worked at the local hospital, the email was nothing to do with skin cancer, but everywhere I looked it was crying out to me CANCER. I was panicking inside to say the least.
The mark grew over a month, thicker and larger, until my whole side of head went red and swollen and I had to show my wife, who up until now knew nothing as my longer hair covered it up.
I asked her to book me in to the doctors, and in the few months I’d panicked alone I had noticed other moles and warts on my body and decided I needed to end this feeling and get it sorted one way or another. I know not everyone gets to this point so quickly and holds it inside longer, but I had holidays etc coming up that I just wouldn’t enjoy with this looming over me.
Yesterday I went to the doctors to be told I was dying………. Only he told me I had Seborrheic keratosis due to getting older and a type of dermatitis on my head that would clear with a change of shampoo. Absolutely nothing to do with the C word or anything else to at all worry about.
I am so relieved and happy right now, but wanted to share this to anyone else feeling this way. Easy to say I know, but go to the Doctors as this worry takes more time off your life than most of these phantom illnesses ever will.
Thanks for listening

[artist12]

Thanks so much for sharing - you are not alone and I actually recently gave myself an almost identical experience with a mole on my torso that I was convinced was melanoma. In my bones convinced.

I can't tell you how many hours I stared at the Google image search results at various pictures of moles, looking at the ABCDE charts, trying to compare mine to anything. Mine was dark, almost black, asymmetrical with weird notched edges.

I watched that mole for almost two years, before I finally showed to to my mother, who sent me into a panic by panicking herself and urging me to go to the doctor.

I finally made an dermatologist appointment. A few days before I went there was a TV episode on with a young woman who was diagnosed with melanoma and was terminal. I thought it had to be a sign from the world that this was my fate, too. I had to wait almost 45 minutes in the waiting room and thought I was going to nearly have a full-blown panic attack in the office. I was convinced that here I was at 28 years old, about to be given the same death sentence you thought you were because I had let this go too long and was too afraid to have it checked.

The doctor looked at it for all of two seconds before he said it was completely fine. If I weren't so stunned I probably would burst out laughing.

I'm so glad to hear that you are well and you're definitely right that the stress of worrying is probably more harmful to us than any other real or imagined ailment we're feeling with this HA struggle. Hang in there!

[WiseMonkey]

I watched that mole for almost two years, before I finally showed to to my mother, who sent me into a panic by panicking herself and urging me to go to the doctor.

IMO far too many parents are responsible for over-reacting to their own health issues and those of their children, resulting in passing down this disabling HA affliction. These children (now adults) have become reliant upon their parents often flawed opinions instead of making rational decisions for themselves. This increases and perpetuates the cycle of HA distress down the generations. I've seen this many times!

Time to get some therapy for your HA, as it's unlikely anyone else in your family will.