I'm feeling really quite suicidal at this very moment - I've tried messaging my boyfriend but he has told me to "stop being stupid", so this is all I can think of right now.

My health issues are ruining my life - every week I have 1 or more doctors appointments, specialist hospital appointments, or a trip in an ambulance. I can't work, as I am too ill, which already has put a massive halt on my life. I am only 20 years old for crying out loud.

I have a chronic sinus infection, which my doctor says could lead to meningitis, which is terrifying, which also means post nasal drip, swollen lymph nodes, a swollen head, dizziness, all kinds of terrifying symptoms, yet I have to wait months to see an ENT, I've had this for over a year now.

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with endometriosis, which is absolutely agonising, I am on daily pain killers, again in the depths of the tunnel with that one, no sign of any cure, possibly infertile, that alone just makes me want to die.

I also have chronic eczema and asthma, ridiculous lifelong anxiety, I am about 2 stone underweight and always have been, also my granddad is about to die from cancer, my other granddad passed away about a year ago from cancer, I feel like I am standing in a constant cold blurry dark room, there is no enjoyment in life, and if there is, it quickly gets spoiled by a stupid stomach pain or breathing problem.

I have had CBT selectively over the years but am now not allowed any more as I got discharged after missing so many appointments, due to my endometriosis not letting me walk.

Please could someone just give me some positive words, I am fed up with feeling like this, everyone else is fed up with worrying about my health problems, they are old news and no one wants to hear the screams of pain and panic anymore, I'm just so annoying