I have been afraid of dying since I was young. That is where my health anxiety started and my obsession which turned in to panic attacks over constant worrying about my health. These last few months I have notice I haven't been that bad on the anxiety front. I stopped having breathing issues, I stop twitching, just stop worrying, but I think I am to the point where I just don't care anymore. I want to care and be happy for my family, and I can do it for a couple hours and then I just go back into myself. Daily conversation with myself, obsessing on what has gone with and what will go wrong, always waiting for the next thing to happen. I haven't seen a counselor for a while because schedule, family, work just not making it a priority, I need to break down spend the cash and make the time and hopefully get out of this. I want cured of my anxiety but not this way.. I appreciate this site so much, sorry if this is nonsensical.

Thank you for reading