Hi all, its not often that i post, but i have been so down over the last few weeks, and after such a long period of ups!.
I was chatting to Nic just a wee while ago and saying that i was prepaired for the next down, that it was all a matter of time. WRONG! nothing can prepair you huh??? I hate being negative, but it happens to us all, i have not thought of suicide for such a long time, but its back, as well as wanting to run away, i dont want to have to spend any time with anyone, i just want to beat myself up, i want to hate myself so much , i wish i could just fall asleep, and awake dead.
Sorry all, but thats it that is just how i feel, i dont want help, nor sympathy, i just want an easy way out, to give those i love the chance to have thier lives back.
Nic i love you too so much, you have allways been a best friend, but i am lost.
Andrew