Hi all. I am really depressed big style we’re i,m getting suicidal thoughts. And obsessing over and over the same subject. I seem to off developed a fear of my friends like incase i received banter and i would like stupid because i,m full of anxiety. This has happened once before when on a trip away with the lads yrs back i didn’t feel to good before i went. Hotel rooms were getting organise whilst on the train. I made a big deal about not sharing with this certain lad. The joke was on train that i was nearly going to be sharing with him. But later on the day my mate was at me from the word go. I was anxiety to the hilt until i snapped i fainted punched in the stomach. It stopped but i more ashamed of the way i acted. I give banter but in that day it must of been obvious i was vunrable to it. Ever since then i always think back to that. Then last wk i was invited to that occasion again. Then my ruminating of what if they put me with that lad again and i get the same treatment and then i will loose my temper. But on top of that i have debt issues i was going to go to face it even not bothered if i shared with that guy. But i couldn’t cope with with worrying fir 6 wks and made excuse saying i can’t afgord it. On our WhatsApp group up banter going forth against me against others but i could tell i was getting paranoia and touchy about it. This is why i absolutely hate me for feeling week i just can’t get in with my life without feeling pathetically boring and anxious please advice this is really getting me down. 1 is i no if i could afford it would be to go and take the banter and give it back. Thanks 🙏
Reply With Quote
