Major anxiety about Having a heart attack but too frightened to exercise

[breesmum]

Well i have found myself in a bit of a situation.

Earlier on in the year, i was at work having a smoke when i had a small pain in my chest that radiated down my left arm. I thought that i had had a heart attack. At that moment i god rid of my smoke and got one of my work colleagues to take me straight to the closest medical centre. An ecg there told us that i hadn't had a heart attack and it was merely a pinched nerve in my chest. I went home that day to my fiance and children vowing to lead a much healthier lifestyle. The doctors words weren't convincing though and i took myself off to the Emergency Department and had another ecg. Nothing wrong, pinched nerve or enflamed muscles which is common in women especially those who picked up children alot.

Btw, that day when i thought that i had had the heart attack, i smoked my last smoke and i have now been smoke free since then.

Everytime i looked into my childrens faces, i burst into tears. All i pictured in my mind was them at my funeral crying for their mummy. I was so upset because i wasn't able to watch them grow up and things. These thoughts consumed my everyday thoughts. I then started panicking about things, i would panic when i layed down to go to sleep and heard my heart beating. From that day i panicked whenever i felt my heart beat go up. I lost a lot of sleep over it.

Finally my doc after numerous tests (including blood tests to check the heart) diagnosed me with major depression and anxiety. He referred me to a psychologist who i found to be a dream. I was seeing him on a regular basis until i lost my job and currently can no longer afford to see him. slowly my development has deteriorated and my chest pains worsened.

Heres my dilema, i know that exercise is most beneficial for people with depression and anxiety,not only do i need to exercise for me to better deal with my anxiety but i need it to lose weight and i have a lot to lose. Bad judgement, bad lifestyle options and pure laziness has put me on the road of being unhealthy and overweight. Add onto that that i am getting married next year in July (i want to look gorgeous - who doesn't?). I just can't seem to exercise. I have it in my head that if my heart goes up then i am going to have a heart attack. My fiance took me for a walk the other day and the whole time i am thinking about my chest pain and then i start gettting it, it has just set me back. How am i going to deal with it?

Exercise is going to help take me off the path that i so desperatly fear which is an early death! has anyone dealt with this before? I feel really lost. I almost feel like i want a doctor standing beside me when i walk to make sure there are no problems even though i know there aren't.

Anyway probably a bit confusing but i just felt like i needed to write a bit of history to give you an idea.

Thanks
Christine

[nanny]

HI Christine

I know exactly how you feel about dying etc i have had a real phobia about death since i was a kid and now i think with good reason as my mum and uncles, aunts have all had open heart surgery. So i constantly worry about heart attack! even so can i stop smoking no i can't so congratulations on that part.

Just a thought with regards the exercise. I have anxiety, depression etc etc and when i saw the nurse down our surgery to have my yearly blood tests she said that exercise is good for me and i said i didn't do any coz can't afford gym and didn't know what to do myself as i have a bad back etc
She gave me a prescription type thing to go to gym with, you don't have to pay and you get all the advice on what to do or not do after an initial consultation with a trainer, this last for 6 weeks.
I wondered if it would be an idea to go to your gp and ask if they do that in your area.

[angiebaby]

Hello and welcome to the nmp site. I think that you will find a huge amount of people who have this worry, me included. It is awful and i get missed/ectopic heart beats everyday, which believe me makes matters ten times worse. We are supposed to de-sensitize ourselves aren't we, but this is much easier said than done. I am currently seeing a counsellor and she is trying to de-sensitize me, but i don't think that my brain will accept it yet, but it is a slow process. Just thought that i would welcome you and let you know that you are by no means alone in this fear.xx

[giddy]

Hey Christine
I too was afraid to to exercise, but I'm slowly overcoming it. I can do gentle yoga no problem, so maybe you could start with that? I also do step dvd at home. I started off just doing the warm up bit for a few weeks and have gradually increased to about 20 mins. It was hard at first because even just doing the warm up I was convinced I was going to collapse, but as I did it more and more I realised that wasn't going to happen and its getting easier to do now though I do still get dizzy while doing at times. Perhaps you could try something like that.
I don't know how old you're children are, but could you go swimming with them or play football with them at the park? Being with them will keep your mind occupied and your thoughts away from your heart and what its doing.
Helen

[neil1975]

Hi Christine,

I have exactly the same trouble as you. I too am scared to do any excercise that will get my heart rate up because of the pressure in the chest I have.
I haven't been the gym for nearly 3 months.
I went for a jog on two consecutive days last week with my friend on his bike behind me and I was ok whilst jogging but as soon as I stopped I started to get anxious as my body started to recover. All I seem to be doing is going for long walks and that is tough in itself.
It's not easy for me to say because I have had the same tests and positive results as you and I still fear the worst but it is highly likely to be muscular. I have a condition called costochondritis which is inflammation of the cartilage of the ribcage. This could be what you have too. The area that is sore does it hurt when you press it? If it does then it is likely to be that.

Take Care,

Neil

[Stefane]

I feel your pain!, I am a player manager for a surrey club, I had a bad experiance about 6 months ago 6 months after i got health anxiety, i find it sooo hard to train and train my players now, I am constantly whatching my heart moniter and struggle throughout, I have had to take a rather back seat now and manage rather then train.

When I do train i get pains and pulls for the next week and worry about those so its not just working out its the after effects aswell, its pathetic of me with my back ground aswell, but i wont be back to normal until i fix this problem.

[bluebirds2005]

hi christine i was in exactly the same situation as u in that i was scared to exercise incase of a heart attack however i decide that instead of exersicing fully i would just go for the odd walk which i did this then turned into a walk every day which then became the odd jogging session now 2 years on i train 6 days a week have dropped from 21 stone to 16 and although i still get days when im sure im going to have a heart attack i know ive have lessened my chances by quitting smoking and vastly reducing my weight .My advice to you would be to start off gradualy by going for walks and then gradualy building up to more intense training now the first few weeks will be a nightmare but i assure u as u train more and more and realise that your heart is still pumping the more comfortable u will feel. good luck and hope everything works out for you

[AngieJ]

Hi Christine,
I used to feel exactly the same about exercise as you until my doctor put me on an 'Exercise on Prescription' programme which was fantastic.
Even though I had to go through a full medical (ecg, blood tests etc.) before I started it, I was still convinced that it was going to kill me but I had a great fitness trainer who really helped me through and kept encouraging me to push myself.
I still stress about my heart and am constantly monitoring my pulse but funnily enough not when I exercise. I know there's a reason for my racing pulse and breathlessness when I've just done 2000m on the rowing machine. Its when it starts out of the blue that it bothers me.
Unfortunately I can no longer carry on with the programme, after I used up all my sessions my GP said he would re-sign me but my husband got sick and gym times clashed with his treatment times at the hospital.
It has encouraged me to keep on exercising and I have a couple of DVDs which I use at home.
Just start little and often, maybe you'd feel a little better about it if you got the ok from your doctor. Why don't you let your doctor know that you'd like to start exercising and ask could he give you the once over to reassure you that it will be fine to do so.
By the way....congrats on the smoking, keep saying I'm gonna quit but never quite get that far.
xxx

[breesmum]

Thankyou so much to everyone for your replies. It just means the world to me to know that there are other people out there suffering exactly as i do.

I was able to get to the raw emotions of my fear when i started seeing my psychologist using the ERT method and that really made a big difference. Maybe i could take him when i want to go for a walk lol.

My children are 15 months and nearly 3 so not the great age to go and play footy with. However i love swimming and so does my children, now that the weather here is starting to warm up nicely (i'm in Cairns so actually i should say that the humidity is starting to rise) so i should get my butt in the pool.

Before i had my anxiety really come on i lost 10kg in a month and most of my exercise came from swimming (also good for toning those hourglass figures).

My fiance is always on at me to go for a walk with him. Not sure if anyone has been to Cairns or seen pics but we have a lovely esplanade to walk along with many bike tracks so it is a prime position to go for a walk. We started then i came down with the flu, tonsilitis and conjunctivitis all at once so now tomorrow is our day to get back into it. He does push me a bit and really i think thats what i need. I find if i am in conversation then i dont think about it as much but it is always in the back of my mind.

I can't remember who asked, but yes i do find my chest sore to touch. One of the doctors explained to me that enflamed chest wall is common however that really doesn't help the situation.

If you over there can get a prescription from your doc to go to the gym then you are really lucky. We dont have anything that i am aware of over here and i think that it is one thing they should have. Obesity is on the rise so much. If they would just cut down the joining fee's and weekly rates then so many people would go to the gym. Fiance and i have discussed going to the gym together and we are putting money away for this.

The main exercise that i have been doing is dancing. I danced for 10 years when i was younger so its something that just comes naturally. Luckily both my son and daughter love it too so we all dance around together. I have to get it into myself that any movement is good. I have been reading that if you can't fit in a 30 minute block a day then do it in 10 minute increments so that is what i am going to do.

Well i dont want this to sound like its all about weight loss but it plays a big factor in my fear and it is something that needs to be done to make me better mentally too.

I know its hard to quit smoking, but really it is just the thought. I would have a smoke any chance i could get and i thought i could never give up, though once i had the health anxiety issues then it was always there in my mind to quit. What made me quit was the fear. I had had a small taste of how quickly everything could be taken away from me, how i could be taken away from everyone else. My addiction to cigarettes just was not worth it. My mum smokes and it just makes me sick to the stomach to see her do it but i also realise the angst she goes through to try and quit.

Anyway this post has ended up being really really long so i'm sorry for that.
I look forward to talking to you all again.

Christine