burning myself cuz of my ex

[Miffy]

Hi there,

i have had OCD since i was a kid but since i broke up with my ex i cant control the thoughts about what she is doing on a fri night and a sat night, if she is done up out clubbing and i force myself to go out every weekend night to keep my mind away from it, i check the number plates of cars as i go by them to check its not her - i panic and wont use facebook cuz of her and i cant let myself think about her otherwise i get a major panic attack and 2 weeks ago i heated up my car cig lighter that you push in and car bat heats it - and burnt my arm with it - i really wanna just relax and not care what she is doing or imagine she is out or having things like 3 somes with people, i feel so sick just writing this and the only thing that stopped me doing this again about an hour ago was i didnt have my car keys on my to switch on the ignition, had thoughts recently about pouring lighter fluid on my arm and setting it alight, im so scared this wont ever go away...please anyone help, thanks. Matthew

[Lindalou64]

well matt it really hurts when we lose someone we love and some of us it takes longer to move on hun....i dont know to much on the ocd,sorry...or the self harming......but from what i heard people say they do it too take the hurt away but i dont know..it dont sound like its a good thing too do by anymeans...have you seen a councelor ect about this all.....i do wish you well matt..........linda

[sassy]

Hi matt
you really dont have to cope on your own. Go and see your GP and ask them to refer you to a counsellor and tell them why. No one will judge you, your hurting and you need help to deal with it.
Ive suffered nasty intrusive thoughts and im now able to cope with them better and stop them before they grow.

your not alone, not going mad..you just need a little help back on the right track.

hugs em xx

[nomorepanic]

Matt

Have a read of this ...

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms....ppage=selfharm

It may help.

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Matthew,

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I also have OCD but not in the same form as you do. I have been on medication and have also been in counseling and it helps me so much. I have never self harmed but I imagine it isn't doing you any good in the long run. May I suggest you call your doctor and make an appointment and open up to them regarding this issue? Self harming is only hurting yourself and not helping you anywhere regarding your ex. Please fight these urges as you could really do major harm. Please let us know how you get on with the doctor and counseling. Good luck.

Best wishes and ,

Laura

[Seuria]

Matthew,
i know exactly where you are coming from. i used to self harm. to this day i have scars on my arm that ache in the cold weather. i know you feel it helps but it really doesnt and you will regret it one day.
what you are going through is normal after a break up. i cant tell you it will be easy cause it will be really tough. i cant tell you it wont hurt cause its the worse pain you will ever feel. i can tell you that it will pass. it always does. i do agreee with the others that you need to talk to your docs, try and see a counsellor to help sort your head out so you can think more clearly.

Love
S

[Miffy]

dear all,
I really appreciate all your supprt and help and advice - i am seeing a councillor doing CBT with me as i was in a clinic a few years ago after my breakdown - but i just wish i didnt panic about my ex and what she is doing, its become like a competition every weekend, i have to be out or i lose it!
i'm thinking of having ECT done as if this ever happens again in the future i dont want to be reliant on pills or CBT, i want to feel as i was when i was small again. thank you for all you help.

-M xx